Fortress Around Your Heart
by riley1319
Summary: AH Liason.  Jason Morgan returns to town after a 3 year absence to find his former lover, Elizabeth Webber, is with someone new.
1. Chapter 1

_Fortress Around Your Heart_ - Sting

Under the ruins of a walled city  
Crumbling towers in beams of yellow light  
No flags of truce, no cries of pity  
the siege guns had been pounding through the night

It took a day to build the city  
We walked through its streets in the afternoon  
As I returned across the fields I'd known  
I recognized the walls that I once made  
Had to stop in my tracks for fear  
Of walking on the mines I'd laid

And if I built this fortress around your heart  
Encircled you in trenches and barbed wire  
Then let me build a bridge, for I cannot fill the chasm  
And let me set the battlements on fire

Then I went off to fight some battle  
That I'd invented inside my head  
Away so long for years and years  
You probably thought or even wished that I was dead

While the armies are all sleeping  
Beneath that tattered flag we'd made  
I had to stop in my tracks for fear  
Of walking on the mines I'd laid

And if I built this fortress around your heart  
Encircled you in trenches and barbed wire  
Then let me build a bridge, for I cannot fill the chasm  
And let me set the battlements on fire

The prison has now become your home  
a sentence you seem prepared to pay  
It took a day to build the city  
We walked through its streets in the afternoon  
As I returned across the lands I'd known  
I recognized the fields where I once played  
I had to stop in my tracks for fear  
Of walking on the mines I'd laid

And if I built this fortress around your heart  
Encircled you in trenches and barbed wire  
Then let me build a bridge, for I cannot fill the chasm  
And let me set the battlements on fire

**Chapter 1**

Girl's night out. That has such a nice ring to it.

Elizabeth Webber rushed to change from her scrubs into a pair of snugly fitting blue jeans and a black turtleneck. She was late and knew the 'girls' were likely getting tired of waiting for her. Standing after zipping up her new black boots, she glanced in the mirror and used her ring finger to apply lip gloss to her perfect pout.

_Swack…_The locker room door bounced off the concrete wall. Elizabeth startled and snapped her head to find Emily Quartermaine standing in the threshold.

"Are you almost ready?" Emily asked quickly. "Kelly's been waiting half an hour and she's getting antsy."

"Yeah. Lemme grab my purse," Elizabeth responded just as rapidly and leaned to pick up her bag, slamming the locker behind her as she exited the room.

Dr. Kelly Lee stood at the nurse's station, taping her nails against the counter, watching the women impatiently. "Goodness woman. What has to happen to get you out of this place?" Kelly quipped.

"Sorry, Kelly," Elizabeth stated, grimacing slightly. "We had a continuing education seminar that ran over. Thanks for waiting."

"Are we ready to suck it, shoot it, slam it ladies?" came Dr. Lainey Winters' voice from down the hall.

The women chuckled in unison.

"Very professional, Lainey," Emily teased.

Elizabeth smiled. "And totally off base. It's lick it, slam it, suck it, my dear," she said, laughing.

The chit chat continued as they rode the elevator to the first floor lobby and began to exit the hospital.

Stepping out into the cool night air, Elizabeth stopped, digging through her purse with frustration. "Damn it," she exclaimed.

"What?" asked Emily.

"I can't find my cell phone." She groaned, "I must've left it in the conference room. Listen, I'm going to run back and grab my phone, then I'll meet you at Jake's. Can I take yours in case I need to call mine?" she asked, looking at Emily.

"Sure," she responded, pulling her phone from her purse and handing it over.

Walking back into the hospital, Elizabeth, too impatient to wait for the elevator, shot up the stairs; the heels of her new boots clicking against the industrial steps as she ran.

Turning the corner to the third floor landing, she heard the distinct sound of a heavy, metal door closing… but nothing else - no movement, no talking. She slowed her gait. The hospital stairwells were never overly crowded, typically doctors and nurses used them when the elevators were slow, but at almost seven o'clock at night Elizabeth had not expected to see much traffic.

She leaned over the railing and peered down, a quizzical look marred her features when she did not see anyone. With a shake of her head, she told herself she was being ridiculous and quickening her pace to the fourth floor exit.

The conference rooms were dark and quiet. As Elizabeth moved down the corridor towards the farthest room on the left, she felt an eerie sensation building in the pit of her stomach. She swallowed hard as she opened the door to the empty room.

The space was partially illuminated from the light in the hallway. Her eyes moved to the seat she had occupied during the lecture and she saw the gleam from her phone. "Ah, ha…There you are," she said aloud.

Not bothering to turn on the light, Elizabeth moved to grab the phone, stopping short as the silence was cut by a vibrating buzz. An inch from her fingers, the phone lit as it shimmied on the table. The unexpected action caused adrenaline to shoot through her system. Shaking her hands, she scolded herself for being too uptight and grabbed the offending item, placing it to her ear.

"Hello?" she clipped unintentionally.

"Hey E, what's shakin'?" came the decidedly male voice on the other end of the line. "It sounds kinda quiet. Slow night?"

"No, I haven't made it to Jake's, I'm still at the hospital. I lost my phone and had to come back for it." Elizabeth noticed a shadow dance across the table and quickly turned towards the open door.

"Again?! Damn E, I'm gonna have to construct some sort of device to help you keep track of phones, keys and credit cards," he teased. "How 'bout a belt with pockets?"

"Uh, huh," Elizabeth responded, drawing out the syllables, as she moved away from the table, angling to get a better view through the threshold of the doorway.

"Oh-kay," the male voice shared his confusion. "That was supposed to be funny. What are you doing?" he questioned.

The strange feeling in Elizabeth's stomach grew as she continued slowly, flattening her small frame beside the door. She peered down the long, narrow hallway, squinting at what she could have sworn was the door of the adjoining conference room closing.

"Elizabeth?" he pressed when she didn't respond.

Her attention was brought back to the person on the line. "Yeah. Sorry. Um…will you stay on the phone with me for a minute?" she asked. "Don't make fun of me, but I have totally freaked myself out and am going to run to the nurse's hub."

"Where are you?" he asked, his voice laced with concern. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine," she affirmed. "I'm in a conference room and it's late. There's no one around and I've gotten myself all spooked. Just stay on the phone please."

"Not a problem," he said assuredly.

Elizabeth started trotting down the hallway, her new shoes betraying her as she slipped and nearly fell. "Shit!" she exclaimed, smacking the wall.

"What?!?"

"Nothing," she laughed as she turned the corner, nurse's station – and people – in sight. "I almost busted my ass. Love these shoes, but they are _not_ made for running."

"You kill me, E," he chuckled, relaxing at the sound of her laughter. "So will I see you later?"

"Girl's night," she clipped.

"What, I can't just happen upon you at Jake's?" he pushed.

"I'm not sure Emily would buy it," Elizabeth panted, slightly out of breath.

"What if I brought her boyfriend? Think she'd complain then?"

"Just give us a couple hours first. But I must warn you, Kelly gets all grabby after a few shots," she chuckled.

"I think I can handle myself. But what about you?" he asked.

"What about me?"

"Do you get all _grabby_?" he teased.

"I guess you'll just have to wait and see," she responded flirtatiously.

Spooked enough for one evening, Elizabeth decided against using the stairs and waited for the elevator to arrive. Fiddling with her cell phone, she never detected the tall, stone-faced male who had followed her path from the conference room corridor.

He moved behind a large support beam and watched as she entered the elevator, doors closing behind her, blocking his view. He quietly entered the stairwell and left the floor unnoticed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

It had been way too long since he had laid eyes on Elizabeth Webber. Her hair was longer, but everything else in his memory was true; her porcelain skin, her plush lips… her body. She looked good. His heart ached.

The moment Jason heard her say she was heading to Jake's he planned to go. He needed to see her, wanted to talk to her, but wasn't sure she would feel the same way. Sliding into the driver's seat of his black Escalade, he drummed his thumbs against the steering wheel as he replayed the events for the umpteenth time.

She broke up with you, he reminded himself. She ended things. She moved out of the penthouse.

He could still hear her words echoing in his ears and slicing through him.

_You are Sonny's enforcer. First, last, and always. I hope it's enough_.

The way she looked at him was burned into his mind's eye. When she confronted him for keeping the truth about Sonny's "death" a secret, she accused him of trampling her trust and ruining their chance to be together. He had never wanted to hurt her, it was business. But he knew he had, and he couldn't tolerate that after everything they had been through to get to that point he'd lost her…so he left.

Port Charles felt the same, like an old comfortable boot. He guessed coming home always did. Hell he'd been born here…twice. He wondered if his memories were more powerful as a 9-year old adult instead of an average 32-year old man. Is that why he could so vividly remember her smell, the exact blue of her eyes, the timbre of her voice, the feel of her hands? Not as much junk to dilute it?

Jason cracked his knuckles and rubbed his neck. He felt a tad ridiculous. In fact, he felt like a stalker, but he could not stop himself.

The reconnaissance work was straightforward enough. She was no longer waiting tables at Kelly's and was now a nurse at GH. She had moved from her studio into a one-bedroom apartment closer to the hospital. He imagined the old brick building with large paned-glass windows provided plenty of natural light for painting.

He did not ask Max for any other details, didn't want to tip his hand too much. He had always kept his feelings for Elizabeth closely guarded and he wasn't about to stop now.

Looking at his watch, he scowled…nearly midnight. She had gone inside exactly 213 minutes ago – make that 214. He watched from the dark, damp alley as patrons entered and exited the joint. But there was no sign of Elizabeth.

A beer, or two…hundred, and a game of pool were just what he needed, but he was not ready to spring himself on her just yet. No, he would just stand there, shuffling his feet, listening to the sound of gravel under his boots and watching the dive's front door like some creep…but he would make sure she got home okay.

Calling himself stupid, he shook his head. She had likely been to Jake's for a Friday night out a hundred times since he'd been gone, and made it home each and every time without his assistance. Old habits die hard he decided as he pushed his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket.

The bar door swung open and Jason observed a tall, dark-haired male step directly under the street light. He was laughing and holding out his hand toward the threshold.

Jason's heart stopped cold in his chest…_that _laughter. Her laughter. Jason watched an arm extend from the darkness and a female hand enter his. The guy pulled her playfully and out she fell, crashing against his chest with a giggle.

_God she was beautiful…but who the hell was that?_

Time slowed way, way down as Jason watched her in _his_ arms. She tossed her head to the side, chocolate tresses sliding over her shoulder and down her back, and she graced _him_ with one dazzling smile.

"Man, you suck at pool E," Jason heard him say.

_He sounds like a chick…E? Who's E?_

"Well, should I blame it on the shots of tequila? Which tasted like ass by the way. Who actually drinks tequila?" she questioned. "Or my teacher? Who obviously couldn't teach for shit because I am an excellent student."

Jason grimaced.

"Oh, you're an excellent student are you? Well, maybe there's a thing or two I can teach you, because I," he stressed, "am an excellent teacher."

Jason glared at _him_ from the shadows and began to plot his demise.

"You two need to get a room," Emily shouted as she exited Jake's with some guy Jason didn't recognize. He had really missed his sister, but right now he had an overwhelming desire to duck tape her mouth shut.

"Sounds like a plan." Jason cringed at the sound of the falsetto voice that filled the air.

"Well then, Ryan…take me home," Elizabeth said dramatically.

_Is she drunk? When did she start getting drunk?_

"As you wish my sweet Elizabeth," that guy responded.

Jason felt the muscles in his jaw working overtime.

_Oh, he was definitely going to die. _


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Elizabeth fumbled to open the door to her apartment and stumbled inside with Ryan at her heels. Her fingers skimmed the cool plaster wall searching for the light switch. As she watched the space illuminate, Elizabeth tossed her purse and keys onto the console table with a noisy clink.

"Do you want something to drink?" she asked.

"No, I'm good. Do you have banana, peanut butter, honey and white bread?" Ryan asked as he shed his lightweight coat, falling onto her sofa as he turned on the television.

Her eyes rolled toward the ceiling as she considered his request. "Um…yes…yes…no…and no." Looking at Ryan and quirking her brow she asked, "Why are you hungry?"

"No, but if I'd known you were going to tie one on tonight I would have planned on making you a peanut butter, banana and honey sandwich to relieve the hangover you're going to have tomorrow," he stated matter of factly as he channel surfed.

Elizabeth smacked a smirk on her face. "I'm making hot chocolate, smart ass. And that is the stupidest hangover remedy I've ever heard of."

"Patrick swears by it," he replied, glancing at her from the sofa, "and he is a doctor."

Huffing loudly and flapping a hand at Ryan, she staggered into the kitchen and filled the kettle, placing it on the burner. She actually felt quasi normal, or maybe it was numb, but one should never look a gift horse in the mouth.

Elizabeth shuddered suddenly as she thought back to earlier in the evening when Ryan moved behind her to help her line up a shot during their pool game. She recalled the sense of déjà vu she experienced as her mind drifted to a different pool game at that same table years before and _his_ arms around her. The memory, and subsequent feelings it elicited from her, was so overwhelming that she had decided right then and there to drink herself silly. Mission accomplished.

The teakettle whistled and pulled her mind back to the kitchen. She dumped the hot cocoa into her mug, stirring lazily as she leaned against the doorframe. She looked across her living room at the man on her sofa, good old reliable Ryan.

Gently blowing into the steam rising from her mug, she considered him, realizing it had been six months since they first met. She hadn't thought he was interested in her; he was simply a friend of Emily's boyfriend, someone with whom she had hung out with socially. Then one night he asked her out. She was surprised and hesitant to accept. She recalled how Emily had lectured her about getting "back in the saddle". Elizabeth smirked as she remembered complaining that she wouldn't be able to find the saddle if someone had dropped her on it.

Needing marshmallows, Elizabeth fought through her drunken haze trying to focus. She chewed her bottom lip, pondering the effort, and wondered if she should be concerned that she needed alcohol to feel normal and enjoy the company of her "boyfriend". How pathetic was she?

Cursing herself, she wondered why she was still haunted by her memories of _him_. Feeling tears prick the backs of her eyes, she shook her head slightly, squeezing them shut. In truth, she knew exactly why.

Making an effort to compose herself, Elizabeth turned back to the living room, setting her cocoa on the end table as she kicked off her boots and joined Ryan on the sofa. Reaching for her mug, she paused as she felt the caress of cool air on her face.

"Did you feel that?" she asked, straightening.

"What?" Ryan turned his head slightly, but kept his gaze locked on _Sports Center_.

Not trusting her current state of mind, she shook it off. "Nothing."

"Did you have fun tonight?" he questioned.

"Yeah, you?" she replied half-heartedly.

"Always with you." He leaned over, pressed a kiss into her forehead and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

Elizabeth exhaled as she tried to relax against him.

Her mind registered a rustling noise coming from her bedroom. She turned her head in the direction of the sound. "Did you hear that?" she asked, quirking her brow.

"What?" Ryan replied, his eyes still glued to the television.

Elizabeth stood up, looking toward her room. "That noise from my bedroom."

Ryan stood beside her. "Where's Jake?"

She scolded herself for being too edgy. "I don't know. He might be outside."

"Did you leave your window open again?" he asked accusingly. "Elizabeth, how many times do I have to tell you how _unsafe_ that is?"

Just as Ryan finished his statement, Jake – a big, big cat – came bounding out of the bedroom and down the short hall. He stopped and began to rub the length of his body against Elizabeth's leg.

"Hey fatso," she said as she scooped him up. "You need dinner." Elizabeth strolled into the kitchen with the cat under her arm and poured food into a dish.

Ryan followed her to the kitchen entrance, placing his hands on either side of the frame. "Please don't keep your window open when you aren't home," he pled. "It makes me worry, which makes me want to hover, which I know you don't like."

"Okay," she said as she stood in front of him with her hands on her hips and a smile on her face.

Ryan moved his hands to Elizabeth's waist and pulled her close to him. "You're blowing me off," he stated as he leaned in to kiss her.

Elizabeth wrapped her arms around his neck as he deepened the kiss. She opened her mouth for him as he slid his hand across her arm, over her shoulder and up her neck to cradle her face, adjusting the angle of her head.

She felt him manipulate the hem of her sweater, sliding his hand under it. He moaned against her mouth as he splayed his warm fingers across her cool, smooth back. Elizabeth stiffened momentarily and Ryan's fingers stilled in response. She wanted to pull away, but instead used the liquid courage to steel her resolve…and continued the kiss. Encouraged by her seemingly enthusiastic response, Ryan ran his palm around her ribcage to cup her breast.

Elizabeth abruptly broke their kiss, pressing her forehead against his, unable to look him in the eye. "I'm sorry," she whispered as she placed her hands firmly on his chest between them. She cursed herself internally for being wired like some goddamn car alarm.

Ryan released a slow breath and removed his hand from under her shirt. "Don't be," he said, not sounding completely convincing.

"I'm just not ready," she said softly with a slight shake of her head.

As if coming to her rescue, Jake hissed.

Ryan withdrew his hands from Elizabeth's form, shoved them into the back pockets of his jeans, straightening his stance.

"Your cat hates me," he said, cutting the tension.

"No, he doesn't," she disagreed. "Jake is just a very serious, brooding kitty. He likes to act tough, but he's really a big softie."

"Whatever you say, but I think the cat's a psycho." Ryan looked down at the beast and Jake hissed again as if on cue. "Well, with that, I'm gonna take off. I need to go home because I've got an early run in the morning," he said, turning to grab his coat.

"Oh, I almost forgot." He paused, fishing through the pocket of his jacket. "You left this at my place the other night," he told her as he handed her a small silver comb.

"Thanks," she said. "I'm surprised I left without it. What'd I do with my hair?"

"You just left it down." He paused, staring at her, then cocked his head, "Hey, you wanna do lunch tomorrow?"

"Sure. Call me in the morning," she replied as her fingers fiddled with the comb.

"Will do. Good night." Ryan cupped Elizabeth's face and planted a solid kiss on her mouth.

"Good night," she sighed, smiling at him.

Elizabeth closed the door, flipped the dead bolt and hooked the chain. She looked at her cat. "What's your problem with him Jake? He's a good guy. Leave him alone," she chided.

Snorting and shaking her head, she muttered, "Better yet, what's _my_ problem," under her breath. Elizabeth tucked her hair behind her ears and looked toward the opening of her kitchen. God, Ryan was so patient with her. She liked him. She trusted him. He did what he said and said what he did. She needed that, but…It always came back to the "but".

Turning off the TV, then the light in the living room and kitchen, she made her way to the bedroom. From her bedroom door she eyed the window and found it closed. Curious, she walked across the room to check the lock. Unlocked? She flipped it into place and kept her hands on the sill.

That odd nagging feeling from earlier in the evening began to pool in her stomach once again as she looked out past the fire escape and onto the docks below. As her eyes adjusted, registering the reflection of her room in the window pane, she saw him standing in the shadows.

Their eyes locked.

Elizabeth froze.

**Chapter 4**

He was tailing them. Elizabeth and that guy she seemed so comfortable with. Who was that asshole? He decided he would get Max on that tomorrow, discretion be damned.

Jason watched them enter her apartment building. A few moments later, he saw lights come on and through the window he could see her stumbling across the room. She definitely looked drunk.

Like an itch that required scratching, he wanted to get closer, needed to see more. He eyed the fire escape. What the hell.

Huffing slightly as he scaled to the second floor, he stopped on the landing outside what appeared to be her bedroom window. It was unlocked.

_What is she thinking leaving her window unlocked?_

He slid it open.

_And over the fire escape of all places_.

He crawled in.

_Anyone could get in here. _

Jason closed the window behind him.

He looked around, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the dark space, the moonlight cascading over his shoulder and a small amount of artificial light coming in from the hallway. Jason stepped off to the left and into the shadows to avoid continued illumination. He could make out a bed, queen sized, with a dark colored comforter – a dresser, nightstand, lamp, closet – standard bedroom, he decided.

Jason's brow furrowed as he eyed a…stuffed animal? fur vest? What the hell was that? The 'what-the-hell-was-that' turned to look up at him. Good God, is that a cat? It's huge, he thought as his eyeballs bulged.

He watched as the cat looked up at him and cocked its head to the side, as if it was considering him. Jason bent down and rubbed the beast under its chin. He heard it purr in response and turn its head into his palm.

As Jason stood the cat jumped, knocking over a waste paper basket. Shit. He quickly picked up the cat and tossed him towards the open door. The animal landed on all fours and ran out of the room. Jason shook his head in relief and concealed himself behind the open bedroom door, just in case.

He discovered this vantage point allowed him a partial view of the living room and the entrance to what looked like the kitchen. He saw Elizabeth standing, with _him_ beside her and that big rat rubbing itself on her leg. Jason heard Elizabeth say something about "fatso" as she picked up the cat and walked toward the kitchen. "Fatso?" he mouthed silently.

Jason heard the guy say something about not leaving her bedroom window open. Jason certainly didn't like him, but found himself nodding his head in agreement. Don't leave your window unlocked much less wide open, he internally scolded her. Did I not teach you anything?

Then it happened. Jason watched as _he_ touched her. Not wanting to bear witness, but unable to pull his eyes away, Jason saw him kiss her and cringed as she responded. Holding his breath, he was punched in the gut at the memory of another time, another place, when he had felt something equally painful. His heart ached as it had all those years ago when he watched in silence as Elizabeth and Zander began…

His mind came shooting back to the present when he saw _this_ guy start to cop a feel. Jason's blood began to boil. Breaking every one of his fingers would be a pleasure.

They stopped kissing and he scrutinized them as they whispered to one another. Words of desire? Love? Jason knew he needed to tear himself away and get out of dodge before he was busted, but he couldn't move. Suddenly, the rat hissed and the guy let go of Elizabeth. Damn, that rat was growing on him.

Jason heard him call the cat a psycho. Jackass. _No one talks about my rat like that._

He watched the guy get his coat and turn towards the doorHe's leaving? Thank God for small favors. The last thing Jason needed to see was Elizabeth and this…this horny guy falling over each other…and then get caught in her bedroom as they tumbled toward the mattress. Totally embarrassed _and_ jailed. Not a good plan.

So that's it, they're lovers. Elizabeth left something at his house and was so distracted by him she couldn't remember how she did her hair. _Why is she fidgeting so much? _Bastard. Don't let the door hit you in the ass, bud.

Jason watched Elizabeth close the door, her small hands and delicate fingers turning the dead bolt, setting the chain. Good girl. He saw her turn to the rat. Did she call it Jake? _Jake_ the cat/rat doesn't like _him_. Jason, on the other hand, liked this cat more and more with each passing minute.

He gazed at her as she turned off the light in the living room and walked towards the kitchen. He was mesmerized by her movements. His eyes followed her down the hall… Oh, holy hell Jason pinched his eyes shut as Elizabeth entered the bedroom and crossed to the window. He realized then that he was stuck…and rusty. He stared at her as she flipped the lock and peered outside.

He watched as her eyes met his, saw her stiffen…

Well, now seems like as good a time as any.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

He was tailing them. Elizabeth and that guy she seemed so comfortable with. Who was that asshole? He decided he would get Max on that tomorrow, discretion be damned.

Jason watched them enter her apartment building. A few moments later, he saw lights come on and through the window he could see her stumbling across the room. She definitely looked drunk.

Like an itch that required scratching, he wanted to get closer, needed to see more. He eyed the fire escape. What the hell.

Huffing slightly as he scaled to the second floor, he stopped on the landing outside what appeared to be her bedroom window. It was unlocked.

_What is she thinking leaving her window unlocked?_

He slid it open.

_And over the fire escape of all places_.

He crawled in.

_Anyone could get in here. _

Jason closed the window behind him.

He looked around, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the dark space, the moonlight cascading over his shoulder and a small amount of artificial light coming in from the hallway. Jason stepped off to the left and into the shadows to avoid continued illumination. He could make out a bed, queen sized, with a dark colored comforter – a dresser, nightstand, lamp, closet – standard bedroom, he decided.

Jason's brow furrowed as he eyed a…stuffed animal? fur vest? What the hell was that? The 'what-the-hell-was-that' turned to look up at him. Good God, is that a cat? It's huge, he thought as his eyeballs bulged.

He watched as the cat looked up at him and cocked its head to the side, as if it was considering him. Jason bent down and rubbed the beast under its chin. He heard it purr in response and turn its head into his palm.

As Jason stood the cat jumped, knocking over a waste paper basket. Shit. He quickly picked up the cat and tossed him towards the open door. The animal landed on all fours and ran out of the room. Jason shook his head in relief and concealed himself behind the open bedroom door, just in case.

He discovered this vantage point allowed him a partial view of the living room and the entrance to what looked like the kitchen. He saw Elizabeth standing, with _him_ beside her and that big rat rubbing itself on her leg. Jason heard Elizabeth say something about "fatso" as she picked up the cat and walked toward the kitchen. "Fatso?" he mouthed silently.

Jason heard the guy say something about not leaving her bedroom window open. Jason certainly didn't like him, but found himself nodding his head in agreement. Don't leave your window unlocked much less wide open, he internally scolded her. Did I not teach you anything?

Then it happened. Jason watched as _he_ touched her. Not wanting to bear witness, but unable to pull his eyes away, Jason saw him kiss her and cringed as she responded. Holding his breath, he was punched in the gut at the memory of another time, another place, when he had felt something equally painful. His heart ached as it had all those years ago when he watched in silence as Elizabeth and Zander began…

His mind came shooting back to the present when he saw _this_ guy start to cop a feel. Jason's blood began to boil. Breaking every one of his fingers would be a pleasure.

They stopped kissing and he scrutinized them as they whispered to one another. Words of desire? Love? Jason knew he needed to tear himself away and get out of dodge before he was busted, but he couldn't move. Suddenly, the rat hissed and the guy let go of Elizabeth. Damn, that rat was growing on him.

Jason heard him call the cat a psycho. Jackass. _No one talks about my rat like that._

He watched the guy get his coat and turn towards the door. He's leaving? Thank God for small favors. The last thing Jason needed to see was Elizabeth and this…this horny guy falling over each other…and then get caught in her bedroom as they tumbled toward the mattress. Totally embarrassed _and_ jailed. Not a good plan.

So that's it, they're lovers. Elizabeth left something at his house and was so distracted by him she couldn't remember how she did her hair. _Why is she fidgeting so much? _Bastard. Don't let the door hit you in the ass, bud.

Jason watched Elizabeth close the door, her small hands and delicate fingers turning the dead bolt, setting the chain. Good girl. He saw her turn to the rat. Did she call it Jake? _Jake_ the cat/rat doesn't like _him_. Jason, on the other hand, liked this cat more and more with each passing minute.

He gazed at her as she turned off the light in the living room and walked towards the kitchen. He was mesmerized by her movements. His eyes followed her down the hall… Oh, holy hell Jason pinched his eyes shut as Elizabeth entered the bedroom and crossed to the window. He realized then that he was stuck…and rusty. He stared at her as she flipped the lock and peered outside.

He watched as her eyes met his, saw her stiffen…

Well, now seems like as good a time as any.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Elizabeth stood ramrod straight.

Please let that be an apparition, she thought in a silent prayer. Elizabeth had considered Jason Morgan's death many, many times since she last saw him. His ghost haunting her would be just the thing she needed to lead her down the path to normalcy. She snorted. If nothing else, at least her sense of humor was intact.

She squeezed her eyes shut and opened them one at a time. He was still there. Shit. She realized her drunken mind was not playing tricks on her. As the hair on her arms stood at attention, Elizabeth suddenly felt _very_ sober.

Turning slowly, she watched Jason move out from behind her bedroom door. Her eyes roamed over him, taking in his chiseled cheekbones, strong jaw and perpetually bronze skin. His sandy blonde hair looked softer, still short, but not as spiky as she remembered.

Her gaze moved over his broad shoulders, clad in a leather jacket, narrow waist, and strong thighs. In faded jeans and a t-shirt, with motorcycle boots at his feet, he looked larger, fuller and more masculine, if that was possible, than he used to. He looked good.

Elizabeth's body started feeling heavy as she took him in. She could hear her heartbeat in her ears and noticed her breathing had changed, becoming shallow and forceful. Her shoulders were slumped and she felt slightly slack-jawed.

She couldn't see his eyes. Those blue eyes were masked by a shadow, but she could recall the color vividly. When she had allowed herself to paint him – driven by some misguided notion that it would be cathartic – she used cerulean blue with a color called light dull azure, although there was _nothing_ dull about the blue of his eyes.

Elizabeth pursed her face as she decided to speak. "Jason?"

"Elizabeth." His voice sounded like velvet. The way her named rolled off his tongue in an intimate whisper threw her back to his penthouse, his bed, his lips teasing the shell of her ear as they…

Her eyes rolled closed and she slowly shook her head from side to side. The wheels in her brain, which had ground to a halt, began churning again. "Nope. No, no, no, no, no..." She opened her eyes and looked at him.

"What are you doing here?" she asked quickly as her heart began pounding in her chest.

The look on his face as he returned her stare was…was…uncertainty? apprehension?

"I…I wanted to see you," he responded, his voice even.

"So you broke into my bedroom in the middle of the night?" she asked, her voice straining.

"The window was unlocked. Which by the way…"

She cut him off. "Oh, no. Don't even say it. You have no right to waltz in here like you own the place and start in on me about safety." She snorted, "It's kinda funny, actually, since _you're_ the one I need protection from."

His brows lowered. "Me?" He looked confused. "What are you talking about?"

"Where have you been?" she asked, ignoring his question.

"Around," he answered plainly, his hands wedged into the pockets of his jacket.

"Of course..." Elizabeth smirked and raked her hands through her hair. "You know what, I don't even want to know. You just need to leave."

"You're angry," he said calmly…too calmly.

Elizabeth released a disgusted huffed. "Damn right I'm angry. You left me!" she yelled.

"No," Jason paused, "you left me."

"What?! Jason, we had a fight. Couples fight. I," she pointed to her chest, "went to my studio which is exactly 2.4 miles from the penthouse. You?" she pointed at him, "You left town! Hell at some point left the country!" she seethed.

"You told me it was over," he stated simply. "You said I ruined our chance to be together."

"And that's it. I get mad – because you lied to me by the way – and make some hot headed comments and you head for the hills?" she asked, lifting and dropping an arm to emphasize her point.

"I believed what you said…and I…I left for work."

"Sure you did, Jason," she mumbled.

Elizabeth realized his gaze was locked on her, watching her…and she found it unnerving.

Her head was spinning. She drug herself to the side of the bed and sat down, placing her face in her hands. Jason moved to stand by the footboard and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Are you ok?" he asked.

She sighed. "No, Jason. No, I am not."

"Do you want me to get you some water?" he questioned.

Where the hell did that come from, she wondered. "That's not really my problem, but thanks," she responded sarcastically as she stared at the floor, ever so slightly shaking her head back and forth.

They sat in silence for a minute, her seated on the bed looking at the floor and him standing at the footboard watching her. She could hear him shuffling his feet and feel his eyes boring into her skull.

"Why didn't you call me, Jason?" She looked up at him with wide, sad eyes. "It's been almost three years."

He ran his hands over his face. "I sent you a postcard," he answered honestly.

"Oh yes," she rolled her eyes. "That blank postcard got me right here," she said as she patted her chest over her heart. "Hell, my address wasn't even in your handwriting."

He averted his gaze. "I paid some kid to write it for me."

"Why?" she implored.

"I dunno," he replied as he pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes. "I just couldn't."

Suddenly, Jake came bounding into the room and jumped onto the bed, crossing it he tried to wiggle into Elizabeth's lap.

"I like your rat," Jason said, changing the subject.

"It takes one to know one," Elizabeth countered, half under her breath.

"Jake?" he asked, ignoring her jab.

"Yeah," she paused, considered his question, and furrowed her brow. "Were you listening to our conversation?"

"Maybe. Who is he?" Jason asked as he flicked his head toward the open bedroom door.

"That's none of your business." Elizabeth remembered the kiss and felt her cheeks flush from embarrassment. A flash of anger coursed through her…she had _nothing_ to be ashamed of! Yet, she couldn't help but wonder…How much he had heard?

Jason pushed his hands into the pockets of his coat and shifted his weight. He looked at her, moved his eyes towards the door, and then looked at her again. "Are you…" he swallowed hard. "Are you sleeping with him?" he asked.

The hand that was stroking Jake's head froze. "_That_," Elizabeth raised her brows, "falls under the 'none of your business' category I was referring to." Her breath shuddered.

Shaking his head, Jason's eyes narrowed slightly, his brow drawing into a deep v as he stared at her.

"Give me a break, Jason," she clipped, annoyance dripping off her voice. "Need I remind you it's been three years? Do you expect me to sit here and believe that you haven't slept with anyone since we broke up?"

He shuffled slightly and averted his gaze.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." Elizabeth swallowed hard in an attempt to counter the lump that was forming in her throat.

She felt a twinge of pain in her heart and she was unable to look at him, so she stared at the floor. The silence in the room was deafening.

"Is he...Is he good to you?"

Elizabeth's head snapped and her eyes locked with Jason's. It took a moment before she could speak. "Ryan's a good guy. He's nice. He's normal." She lifted her shoulders slightly as she stared at him.

Jason winced.

She grimaced at the realization she'd hurt him. "Um…well…um…you…you know what I mean," she stammered.

Groaning, she fell back onto the bed and covered her face with her arms. Elizabeth chastised herself for the knee jerk response to hurting his feelings. Why the instinct to try to make things better for him?

She reminded herself that he was no where to be found when she needed him. A pit of grief formed in her stomach as thoughts of what they lost crept into her consciousness.

So what if he hurt.

She sat up in the middle of the bed. "You have to go."

"If that's what you want," Jason responded with a stiffness that angered Elizabeth even more.

"It is. In fact, I don't want to see you again," she stated, crawling off the bed, placing it between them. "If you move back into the penthouse or take off for Uzbekistan, I don't wanna know about it. You left me when I needed you the most. We were supposed to be together. We made love. We made…" she stopped suddenly and shook her head back and forth as tears formed in her eyes.

Elizabeth swallowed hard and softened her tone. "You told me you loved me and then you left. I have been fighting to pull my life back together ever since, and I refuse to loose everything I've worked for simply because you decide to grace me with your presence."

"That's not the way I see it, Elizabeth," he replied, stone-faced.

"Well it doesn't really matter at this point, does it? Because, whatever it was…it's over. Now please, please just go," she pleaded as she pointed to her open bedroom door.

Jason tucked his hands into his pockets, looked to the floor and nodded. He crossed the room and paused next to her. Inhaling deeply, he hesitantly looked at her face out of the corners of his eyes. Her gaze was fixed on the window.

"I didn't mean to hurt you," he whispered.

He was too close; she could feel the heat from his body. Elizabeth felt a tear escape her lower lid. She closed her eyes and slowly shook her head.

"Please go," she said in a broken voice.

And he left.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

He pulled the door closed and stood in the hall…waiting. A few moments later he heard the click of the lock and he slowly dragged his feet to the stairwell.

Jason felt…confused. He had not planned on following her around half the night then climbing in her window and waiting in her bedroom…but after he saw her he wanted more. It was always that way with Elizabeth. He would always want more.

He remembered her words… _Damn right I'm angry. You left me!_

_She_ left _me_, he told himself. Hell, he had been telling himself that for almost 3 years. It had been an act of self preservation. He had done it once before. When she left him standing in the park, he took off without a goodbye. He offered himself to her…well sort of, and she walked away. When he returned she wasn't mad, in fact she was happy to see him.

But in the penthouse…all of their cards were on the table. They had said they loved each other and that they wanted to be together. They had made love, although less than he would have preferred because he was so wrapped up in Sonny and the mob war that was breaking out all around him. He was working long hours and trying to keep her safe. He had lied to her, made her feel foolish. He hadn't wanted to be dishonest, but it made sense at the time. He had expected her to be upset, but…

"She left me," he muttered, raking his hands over his face.

Jason stared out over the water, asking himself what he could or should have done differently. Should he have gone to her? Fought for them? She said it was over and he tried to respect that the only way he knew how. He felt as if a vice was gripping his heart. How can this feel so fresh, he wondered. It had been almost three years.

Elizabeth waited to hear the tell tale click of her front door closing before she moved. She walked down the hall in a daze, crossed the living room and pressed her hands against the front door. Managing to move her hand she flipped the dead bolt. Turning, she leaned her back against the door.

Her eyes rolled up towards the ceiling and she asked herself what she had done to deserve such punishment. Why her? It had been almost three years. How did he _still_ have such power over her?

As she looked up towards the heavens, she decided she was broken. Totally and completely ruined. Ten minutes alone in a room with him and all she wanted to do was curl up in a ball and sob. Elizabeth looked down and eyed Jake, rubbing himself against her leg. "He likes you," she said to the cat. "Nobody likes you…but me." The words hung in the air, she was too damn sober, and that was a bad thing.

She wanted a drink. Her brain was screaming for one and the strength of the desire made her nervous. Elizabeth looked into the kitchen and saw a bottle of wine shimmering in the moonlight, calling her name. She swallowed hard, considering her options. Her eyes felt like they had sand in them, gritty and stinging. Grinding her palms against them, she decided she just really wanted to sleep.

Walking back to her bedroom, Elizabeth turned on the light and paused. Jason had been here. She could clearly envision him standing at the foot of her bed, looking forlorn. Rolling her eyes closed, she could hear the creaking of his leather jacket and he stuffed his hands in the pockets. Hell, she could practically smell him, that musky soap scent that only belonged to Jason.

Forcing her eyes open, she looked around the room, wanting to burn it down. Elizabeth recalled experiencing a similar feeling about her studio after learning Jason had left town…and what had happened there. The savage desire to watch her studio be reduced to kindling had surprised her, but the prospect of an arson conviction with jail time was not at all appealing. She felt imprisoned enough…no need to be literally locked away, so she'd moved instead.

Strengthening her fortitude, Elizabeth decided she'd be damned before she let _his_ little visit force her to move again.

She stripped out of her jeans, trading them for soft flannel pajama pants and pulled her sweater up over her head. Removing her bra, she grabbed the nearest t-shirt and tugged it on. Throwing her hair into a quick ponytail-bun of sorts she left her bedroom in the dark. She might not move, but there was no way she was sleeping in there that night.

Shuffling to the bathroom, she looked at herself in the mirror. "Ouch," she said aloud as it was not a pretty sight. Her eyes were rimmed red and bloodshot. She looked like a raccoon with mascara encircling her patriotic orbs. Her skin was pale and her nose was runny from emotional overload. Elizabeth shrugged her shoulders as she realized her insides and outsides matched…probably the first time in a long time that was the case.

Opening the medicine cabinet, she perused the contents. Her eyes repeatedly returned to the little prescription bottle on the top shelf. The sleeping aide had been prescribed after the accident, and although she hated taking them, her doctor insisted she keep a small supply just in case. He had actually wanted her to take something more, but she'd refused.

Elizabeth reached for the bottle and scoffed at herself. Just minutes ago she had thought it was a good idea to return to a state of drunken bliss in order to sleep. Now, here she was, struggling over taking a little legal pill prescribed by a professional. And, she was a nurse off all things. She rolled the bottle in her hands, finally deciding to flip the lid and shake a pill into her palm. She popped it in her mouth and took a swig of water from the faucet. Straightening, she took a long, hard look at herself in the mirror before heading to the living room.

Stretching out onto the couch, Jake made quick work of jumping up beside her and cuddling against her chest. Elizabeth turned on the television and stared. Watching the screen, but not absorbing anything she saw, she started to cry. Big tears. Big, fat tears rolled down her face and began to wet her shirt. Her head was swimming with memories and as she sobbed her eyelids began to feel heavy, her breathing slowed, until…

_The sound of a horn. Elizabeth stood in the dark, foggy street as her eyes moved over the wreckage. Pain. She was suddenly in the penthouse, doubled over. Tears streaming down her face as she clutched her waist. "Jason," she cried. "Jason!" Looking around Elizabeth realized the penthouse was empty. She struggled to move, but was frozen in place. Her heart racing, she was panic stricken and paralyzed with fear. Then she heard it. She couldn't make it out at first. Was it a cat's meow? Or crying? What was making that sound?_

Elizabeth woke with a start. She felt as if she had an axe embedded between her eyes. She grimaced and placed a hand on her forehead. Daylight cascaded in from the windows in her living room and she looked around. She was on the couch, the TV was on, and Jake was sprawled out on his back between her legs.

Squinting as she looked towards the clock, she furrowed her brow. Two? Two pm? Elizabeth eyed her answering machine and saw the red light blinking. Rolling off the couch she limped over, feeling stiff and hit the play button.

"First new message. Eleven twenty-nine am," stated the digital voice.

"Hey E, it's me. It is around 11:30 and I was wondering if you still wanted to get together for lunch. I'll try your cell. Call me on mine if you get this."

Shit. Ryan. Lunch.

"Second new message. Twelve o'nine pm."

"Elizabeth…Where are you?" She listened to Ryan's sing song voice. "Am I being stood up? Call me."

Elizabeth eyed her cell phone on the table and watched the green light blink…shit, another message.

Walking into the kitchen for a drink to cure her cotton mouth, her eyes moved to the upper corner of her refrigerator, where she had affixed a quote she found in a magazine about eight months ago...

**Fake it 'til you make it**

She recalled taping it up when she started at GH, intimidated by actually working in the hospital and having to put all of her new knowledge into practice. She snorted and guessed she had never quite realized how many situations that statement could be applied to.

Shuffling out of the kitchen, Elizabeth went into her room, crawled onto the bed, pulled a blanket over her body, placed pillow over her head, and went back to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 **

Sunday morning brunch had become a ritual for Elizabeth, Ryan, Emily and her boyfriend, Patrick. Always Kelly's, always 10:30 a.m. Elizabeth rolled into the restaurant at 10:40, large sunglasses on her small face, to find the usual suspects present and accounted for, however Ryan looked less than pleased to see her.

"Hey," she offered sheepishly, removing her sunglasses.

"Where have you been?" questioned Emily, glancing over at Ryan. "We've been worried."

"I've been sick as a dog," Elizabeth said as she sat.

"Sick?" asked Ryan. Elizabeth noticed Emily raise her eyebrows in question.

"Yeah. I guess it started because I had way too much to drink the other night, no thanks to you three, and I didn't wake up until yesterday afternoon. I felt like garbage so I went back to bed and here you see me." Elizabeth opened her arms slightly as if presenting herself.

"I called," clipped Ryan.

"I'm sorry, Ryan. This flu had me wiped out. I promise I will make it up to you." She planted a large smile on her face and Ryan appeared to relax.

"Hey, there's Tom from running club. Let's go give him shit about beating his time yesterday," Patrick said with a grin.

"You're so mean," Emily said as she smacked Patrick on his chest.

"Me? Mean? Oh Emily, that hurts." Patrick grinned as he and Ryan left the table.

"Ok, spill," Emily said to Elizabeth as soon as the guys were out of earshot.

"Spill what?"

"Did you see him?" Emily asked with sympathy in her eyes and voice.

Elizabeth stilled. She dropped her shoulders and closed her eyes. "Yes," she stated as she nodded her head. "You?" she looked up at Emily.

"Yes, last night," her best friend responded. "I asked him if he'd seen you and he told me he didn't want to talk about it… so I kinda figured…"

"He broke in to my apartment Friday night when Ryan was there," Elizabeth stated quickly and quietly, her voice straining.

"What?!? Wow… that's my brother for you." Emily sighed as looked to be considering Elizabeth's face. "Elizabeth, are you ok?"

"Em," Elizabeth whispered as her eyes began to fill with tears, "I feel like I'm drowning. All this time and the mere sight of him wrecks me. I don't know what to do," she said in a broken voice.

Emily reached out and touched her friend's hand. "Oh Elizabeth, I am _so_ sorry." Her eyes moved over Elizabeth's head and Emily straightened as she saw Patrick and Ryan returning to the table.

"That pompous ass isn't going to know what hit him come race day," Patrick exclaimed as he and Ryan took their seats.

Elizabeth quickly wiped her cheeks, hoping the action would go unnoticed.

"E, are you ok?" Ryan asked as he reached over to touch her arm.

"You know," she responded, "I'm not feeling as well as I thought. I think I need to go home." Elizabeth stated rapidly and began to collect her things, feeling as if she had too poor a grasp on her fragile emotional state.

"I'll go with you and play nurse," Ryan said as he stood.

"No, no. You stay here and enjoy yourself. No sense watching me sleep," she offered him a slight smile.

"Elizabeth, I want to," he said as he opened his wallet and began fishing through his cash.

"Really it's ok," she said, "I can take care of myself."

Ryan dropped the money on the table, "Do you want me to get some soup to go?"

"No, Ryan," she snapped, "I just want to go home…alone."

He stared at her with a stunned look on his face.

"I'm sorry," she pled. "I didn't mean to snap at you. I just really want to go home." Elizabeth reached out and placed her hand gently on Ryan's arm. "Maybe we can go to a movie later this week. What do you say?" Elizabeth lifted her eyebrows.

"Um… sure, I guess," Ryan stammered. "Will you call me if you need anything?"

"I promise. Scout's honor," Elizabeth smiled as she held up two fingers. "Bye guys," she stated as she turned and left Kelly's, aching to stop the chatter in her head and go back to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

_5 days later_

Elizabeth stood at the nurse's station, trying…and trying…and trying to read a chart. She shook her head, attempting to clear the cobwebs in her mind, and focused her eyes on the medication instructions for what felt like the fiftieth time. She glanced at her watch – ten more minutes. Thank God.

Elizabeth switched gears, making the necessary chart notations to wrap up her shift. "Epiphany, that about covers it for today," Elizabeth stated, filing the last of her charts.

"Are you off this weekend?" Epiphany asked in a clipped tone as she folded her arms over her ample bosoms and looked down her nose at Elizabeth.

"Yes. Not sure what I did to earn two weekends in a row," Elizabeth stated, not noticing Epiphany's gaze as she continued her filing.

"Listen," Epiphany stated abruptly, causing Elizabeth to look up at her. "I'm not sure what's going on with you Nurse Webber, but I suggest you take the weekend to get your head screwed on straight. You have been walking around this hospital in a daze all week and I refuse to allow you to put my patients at risk."

"Epiphany, I assure you that no one is…"

Epiphany cut her off. "When you are distracted, people are at risk. Plain and simple. Now get out of here and take care of yourself. I'll see you Monday." With that, Epiphany turned and walked away.

Elizabeth ran her hands through her hair, wondering if things could get much worse. Of course they could, she reminded herself with a quick flash of a distant memory.

Heading to the locker room to collect her things, Elizabeth checked her phone. No messages. Mulling over the fact that she hadn't spoken to Ryan all week, she considered that while she hadn't tried to get in touch with him, he hadn't called her either, which was atypical of their relationship. She was ok with that for the first couple of days, but now…she wasn't sure how she felt about it now.

Elizabeth wanted to want to see Ryan. She didn't want _his_ return to town to have such power over her. And it wouldn't…unless she allowed it.

Her routine this past week had been simple…work, home, work, home. After Sunday's brunch that wasn't, she'd spent the afternoon ruminating to the point where her brain actually ached. As the night wore on, the realization that she had to go to work the next day led Elizabeth to her brilliant 'plan' to keep her head above water. Running into Jason would be a disaster and Port Charles was suddenly filled with landmines, once again. All the places that reminded her of _him_, places she'd spent years stripping of importance, were suddenly a danger to her sensibilities. And even though she'd insulated herself from the world around her, she had been wallowing for most of the week, living off ice cream and her prescription sleep aide.

She dialed his number while chewing her bottom lip.

"Hey."

"Ryan, hey it's Elizabeth."

"Yeah, caller id gave that away. How are you feeling?"

Elizabeth paused and hesitated to respond. He sounded…weird.

"Much better, thanks for asking. Listen, I was wondering if you would be up for that movie tonight? We could watch a comedy or a drama or there is that new war movie, I don't really like war movies, but if you wanted to see it that would be ok with me, or we could watch a romance, but you don't really like romances so that wouldn't make sense either…" she babbled.

Ryan interrupted. "Elizabeth," he clipped, "how about we have dinner instead?"

"O-Oh, okay. I can pick up something on my way home and come over," she shuffled her feet, feeling a little anxious.

"No, how about I pick up Chinese and come to your place?" he stated plainly.

Elizabeth scrunched her nose; something about Chinese food gave her the willies. "Sure, but how about Italian?"

"Done. Do you want the usual?"

Elizabeth's face and insides softened in response to him remembering her 'usual'. Ryan, good…_him_, bad. "Yes, please. I should be back at my apartment in about half an hour."

"I'll shoot for an hour," he replied.

"See you then." Elizabeth hung up.

Elizabeth entered her apartment, looked around and offered a silent thank you that Ryan had decided not to meet her as she walked in the door. She had completely forgotten her place was a mess… and it stunk. She opened the windows in the living room in an attempt to air the joint out. Damn litter box. Although, changing the litter did help, she reasoned.

Grabbing a garbage bag from the kitchen, she walked around picking up soda cans, ice cream pints and lids – which Jake had strewn all over the place – an empty wine bottle and a red solo cup. She changed Jake's litter, sprayed some air freshener and lit a scented candle for good measure. She ran the dishwasher, although mostly empty, she was on a roll. Picking up stray clothes, she tossed them into her bedroom.

She fished out a pair of comfortable, worn jeans and slid them up her slight frame. Elizabeth grabbed an old PCU sweatshirt and pulled it on over her t-shirt. She donned plush socks and pulled her hair into a ponytail. Ah, comfort. Turning, she heard a knock on the door.

"Hey," she offered as she pulled the door open and found Ryan, with take out in tow, on the other side.

Ryan gave her a quick once over. "Well, you look better," he said, nodding.

"Thanks," Elizabeth responded with hesitation. She furrowed her brow and glanced down at her outfit. Nothing about it looked good, it was a choice based strictly on comfort and she suddenly felt like she should have done something more with herself.

Elizabeth followed Ryan into the kitchen and pulled plates from the cupboard and silverware from the drawer. Ryan unloaded the take out boxes and started opening a bottle of wine. Elizabeth grabbed two glasses and placed them on the counter in front of him. After serving their plates and getting napkins, Elizabeth and Ryan moved to her sofa – dinner and a glass of wine in hand. She nodded her head and made a mental note of their effortless teamwork in the kitchen.

The sense of ease she tried to establish quickly dissipated as they ate in silence…for too long. Something felt off – different, Elizabeth thought. Well of course something was different, she told herself, _he_ came back and started messing with your head. Don't let it happen. Don't let it happen. Don't let…

"So," Ryan interrupted her train of thought. "How's your week been?"

"Good. Good," she replied. "Work was – well work and I've been doing some painting at night," she lied. "How about you?"

"I've been doing some thinking," he stated, looking down at his food.

That doesn't sound good, she thought. Elizabeth swallowed hard, "About?"

"This," he said as he swung his fork between the two of them.

"And…" Elizabeth's heart began to race.

"And…I think we should take a break," Ryan stated to his meatballs.

"A break," she parroted feeling a bit stunned.

He turned towards her. "Elizabeth, I like you. In fact, I think I could love you, but…" he shook his head, "you have walls."

"Walls?"

"Yes, unscalable ones," he looked at her with soft eyes.

"Is – is this about sex?" she asked, tucking her hair behind her ear. "I-I'm sorry. I've tried to just relax and …"

He interrupted. "No. No, it's not," he said firmly. "But, I'm not going to lie to you. I would love to sleep with you, Elizabeth. He shook his head slightly, "That's not what this is about."

Elizabeth felt her cheeks heat at his confession. Pausing momentarily, she looked to him in confusion, and asked, "Then what is it about?"

"You won't let me in," he said. "I think you try, but you don't and I can't fight it anymore. I want to be with you. I could see a future for us, but you _have_ to let me in in order for us to get anywhere. I can't bridge the gap on my own; you have _got_ to throw me a rope, E." She opened her mouth to argue, but he never stopped. "You know, I'm not sure what happened to you. We didn't exactly go through our dating history with a fine-toothed comb. But I know enough to be sure that someone along the way hurt you, and for that reason, I was patient. I've tried to be understanding, I told myself I just needed to earn your trust, but I am not sure that's possible."

Elizabeth looked at him. His eyes were large and soft, the golden flecks flickering in the candlelight. His jaw was set, his lips curled down slightly…a mannerism she had not seen before in her safe, soft Ryan.

"What are you saying?" she asked, feeling a knot in her stomach and a lump rise in her throat.

"I'm saying that I can't see you anymore. Whether or not it's forever is up to you," he sighed. "I want this, but I'm not sure you do. I want you to take some time to really think about what you want and if you decide it is me, then I'd like to be there, but I won't wait forever." He stood.

Elizabeth's head was spinning. "You're leaving? But we haven't finished dinner."

"Yeah. I think this is the part where I go." Ryan shoved his hands into the back pockets of his khakis. "Besides, I don't have much of an appetite."

"Ok," she responded, her voice small.

She followed him to the door, looking at the floor as she walked in stunned silence. He turned around and she looked up at him. He cupped her face with his hands and looked at her thoughtfully. "Mmm, I'm gonna miss this face," he said. Ryan leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her lips. "You know where to find me," he stated before turning and leaving her apartment.

Elizabeth placed her hands on the closed door; staring at it, she had a sense of déjà vu.

"Shit," she said aloud as she started to cry.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Jason stood on the docks looking out over the water. There was a nip in the air, but it didn't bother him…never did. He never used anything more than his trusty leather jacket to protect his body from the cold. Tucking his hands into the front pocket of his jeans, he leaned back into the wooded beam that supported the upper decking of the dock.

It had been a week since he'd seen her. How he had made it almost three years he wasn't sure. He supposed it was because he thought she didn't want to be with him and since he usually gave her what she wanted, he'd complied. And now, all this time later, he'd learned that she thought he'd left her. To top it all off, when she wanted him to stay - he left - and now that he was back, she wanted him gone. Jason dipped his head forward and rubbed the back of his neck.

Hearing thumps coming from the stairs, he turned his head and saw Elizabeth slowly walking down the steps and towards the bench. From Jason's position on the dock there was no way he could leave without her seeing him. He wasn't sure what cosmic force was working against him that he would end up in this position…_again_.

He eyed her from the shadows as she sat down on the bench and swiped her nose with the back of her sweatshirt covered arm. Was she crying? He watched as she pulled up her legs and wiped under her eyes. Yup, definitely crying.

Jason felt a tightening in his chest as he considered his options. Go to her and find out what's up…if _he_ had anything to do with this, Jason would definitely choose one of the umpteen different ways he had imagined killing him this past week. Or…stay put and wait for her to leave, hoping she doesn't spy him in the shadows. Jason felt creepy enough last week to last him a lifetime, so he decided he would make himself known.

"Elizabeth?" Jason stepped out from the shadows and called her name as if he wasn't sure it was her. Good one, he told himself, pleased with his creativity.

Elizabeth lifted her tear stained face and looked at him. She rolled her eyes closed and slowly shook her head side to side as her shoulders slumped.

She looked miserable, but super cute. Sweatshirt, well worn jeans, her face appeared free from make up and her hair was swept up into a ponytail with bangs framing her face. Jason understood that women wore makeup to accentuate their features and Elizabeth certainly didn't shy away from the stuff, but he swore her lips look fuller when they were bare.

"Are you okay?" he asked as he leaned over slightly to try to see her face.

"I'm fine," she clipped, looking out toward the water.

Ignoring her obvious lie, he asked, "Is there anything I can do to help you?"

Elizabeth chuckled, "Gee, let's see. Umm…you could…get lost," she whipped her gaze to meet his and accentuated her statement by widening her eyes.

"I don't want to leave you like this," he said genuinely.

"Oh _that_ has got to be the statement of the century," she laughed. "This is a walk in the park compared to how I was the last time you left!"

"I explained to you why I went away. I thought it was what you wanted," his shoulders slumped and he looked at the planks below his feet.

"If you had bothered to say goodbye, you would have figured out otherwise. Our lives might have been so…different today." Her voice quieted to an almost whisper and she stared back out over the water.

He followed her gaze out into the sea. In their silence, Jason could hear the sound of the waves rolling against the pilings. It was such a soothing sound, steady and melodic.

Jason took a deep, cleansing breath and turned to face her. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"He dumped me," Elizabeth said with a sad smirk as she continued to gaze out into the darkness of the harbor.

Jason wasn't sure how to respond. Would jumping up and down be inappropriate? Probably, he decided, so he went with . . .

"I'm sorry." A lie. "He's an idiot." The truth.

"That's just it Jason," she looked up at him. "He's not. He _really_ is a good guy," she paused, exhaling. "It's me."

Jason moved to the bench and sat down, being certain to keep as much space as possible between his body and hers, feeling grateful she was no longer yelling at him.

"Is that what he said?" Jason asked.

"Yes, but he was only pointing out the truth."

"Oh, and what's that?" he asked, feeling himself getting increasingly irritated with this guy.

Elizabeth glanced at him, the look on her face telling him clear as day she didn't know what the hell she was doing. "I have walls," she stated simply.

He understood her doubt, but there was something so natural about them talking to each other like this. "Walls?" he continued.

"Walls."

"What are they made of?" he asked. "Brick? Cinderblock? Mud and sticks?"

She laughed. He loved the sound of her laugh. "What does that have to do with anything? You know darn well that isn't what I'm talking about."

"The material matters because how else would someone know how to get through," he stated with a slight crooked grin.

She smiled back. "Well…I'll have to get back to you on the material, but he did say the walls were unscalable. Unscalable? Is that even a word?" she asked as she furrowed her brow.

"I think anything is scalable," Jason stated with confidence.

"He says I have to help. That I have to…," Elizabeth's eyes rolled up as if trying to access the memory of their conversation, "throw him a rope."

"Do you want to?" he turned his head to look at her.

"Yeah…No…I don't know," she said. "That's part of the problem," she glanced quickly in his direction.

"You've said he's a good guy. The two of you seem…close." Jason turned his head slightly and scratched his cheek with his index finger. "Do you…do you love him?"

"I like him," she replied quickly. Jason exhaled, not realizing he had been holding his breath. "I like him a lot. It's just that …" she paused.

"It's just what?" he looked at her.

"He's not…" Elizabeth trailed off as she lifted her eyes to meet his and tilted her head ever so slightly.

Their eyes searched one another's. Jason felt himself swallow hard and watched as she did the same. His gaze dropped to her mouth as her tongue swept across her lips. He felt his insides warm as she tucked her plump lower lip under her teeth, suddenly realizing just how much he had missed Elizabeth.

He reached out to cup her jaw allowing his thumb to run over her cheek. "Elizabeth," he whispered.

He felt her face melt into the palm of his hand. Mesmerized by her, he failed to recognize as his own tongue moved over his mouth, wetting his lips. The shift in mood caused the air surrounding them to suddenly feel thick and intoxicating. Jason felt himself leaning in and noticed her breath hitch in response. He watched as she slowly lifted her chin to meet him.

Their lips brushed together and they shifted slightly to rub noses before kissing again. Jason used his hand to tip her face and asked her to open her mouth with his tongue. She complied and he moved his tongue slowly, cherishing the opportunity to kiss her again after what felt like forever.

Their kiss slowly deepened and Jason inhaled, stealing Elizabeth's breath. He slid closer to her as she moved her arms around his neck and ran a hand through is hair. It was so soft, just as she had imagined. His kiss was hungry and Elizabeth felt as if he was feasting off her mouth.

As she started to give in to the sinful things Jason was doing to her mouth with his tongue, a voice in the back of Elizabeth's head began to gnaw at her. _You can't have him Elizabeth_, it said. _You're too far gone. He'll never forgive you when he finds out the truth. You can't lie to him. It will never work…_

Elizabeth straightened and stood, pulling herself out of his grasp. Jason looked at her, her lips plump and bee stung from his kiss. He was stunned.

"What did you do that for?!" she raised her voice at him.

Jason sat in silence, looking confused.

"You can't just show up after all these years, track me down and kiss me like…like that!"

"Is that how that happened?" he asked rhetorically.

"I am trying to move on," she stated as she began to pace. "And you…," she waved her hand at him, "you come back and ruin everything!"

"So now your breakup is…my fault," he countered.

"If you weren't here - as you haven't been for three years - I wouldn't have been freaking out all this week and pushed Ryan away." She continued to pace.

"I made you freak out," he stated, his lips curling into a crooked grin.

"Don't fucking smile!" she yelled. "It's not cute! It's not funny!" she exclaimed, pausing mid stride to point her finger at him.

Man she's pissed, he thought, stretching out his long legs and crossing his ankles, then folding his arms over his chest. She just spilled the beans and now he was kind of enjoying the show.

Elizabeth continued to pace, a look of disbelief marring her features as Jason made himself comfortable.

"What are you doing?!" she bellowed.

"Just sittin' here," he said with a slight shrug.

Elizabeth stood frozen, staring at him, huffing in anger. They sat in silence, eyes locked on each other, as her breathing slowed. "You don't understand," she said as she began slowly pacing again. "You left me when I needed you," her voice was softer, more vulnerable.

"I've told you why I did. I thought it was what you wanted," he said seriously. "What do you want, Elizabeth?" he barely whispered.

She stopped pacing, turned to look at him, and ignored his question. "It changed me, Jason. Everything that happened after you left changed who I am," she stated as she placed her hand on her chest.

Jason noticed Elizabeth's eyes welling with tears. He straightened, and then stood, reaching out to touch her. "Elizabeth?"

She choked back a sob. "I can't do this," she said as she turned and ran up the stairs.

Jason turned towards her as she ran, closing his hand and dropping his arm to his side. He had an overwhelming sense that he was missing something.

He heard her voice repeat the phrase…"_Everything that happened after you left changed who I am."_

He ran that statement through his head. Not "everything that happened _when_ you left," or "everything that happened _because_ you left," but, "everything that happened _**after**_ you left".

Jason was certain he would have heard if something had happened to Elizabeth. He had asked Sonny, once again, to keep an eye on her while he was gone, so he was positive he would have be told if something bad went down.

But the nagging feeling persisted. _What is she keeping from me?_ He didn't know, but he sure as hell was going to find out.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10 **

Staying home was the last thing on Elizabeth's mind. Entering her apartment, she made a beeline for her bedroom, changed into a pair of hip hugger jeans and a red sweater. Releasing her hair from the elastic band, she ran a brush through it, dusted on some powder and lip gloss, grabbed her purse and was out the door. Jake's – and a stiff drink – were calling her name.

Elizabeth scanned the joint for a familiar face and finding none chose a booth in the darker corner of the bar. She was not interested in being bothered. She placed her elbows on the table and her face in her hands. The jukebox was alive with music, people were playing pool, sitting at tables chatting with friends and she was… alone, and wanted it that way. When the waitress came to take her order, Elizabeth glanced up briefly and requested a steady stream of bourbon and coke.

_What do you want? What do you want? What do you want?_

She absently ran a finger over her lips as she heard Jason's voice replay in her mind…as it morphed into her own. She wanted happiness. She wanted to trust. To love. She wanted a partner and a home and maybe to plan to have a baby. Jason couldn't give her those things. Too much had happened between them. Besides the fact that he would always put Sonny, his family and their business first, there was too much he didn't know. How would he feel if he did, she wondered. But decided it really didn't matter - because he never would.

She huffed and took a large swallow of her drink. Sonny and the business. Although it hurt to think, Elizabeth knew it had probably all worked out for the best. Where would she have landed on Jason's long list of priorities? She'd spent her childhood getting the short end of the stick and she wouldn't do that to herself again. Elizabeth knew she was really good at excusing the behavior of others. Hell, she'd spent years doing it for Lucky, but with Jason…she had allowed herself to expect more. He wouldn't have accepted it any other way. Jason wanted her trust and understanding, and when she fully gave herself to him…she was met with a harsh dose of reality.

Elizabeth's train of thought was interrupted when the waitress traded her empty rocks glass for a full one. She glanced over at the pool table and was rushed with the memory of the last time she was at Jake's, with Ryan.

Ryan. Ryan was a great guy. Great family – unlike her own – or the Quartermaines for that matter. He was gainfully employed in a safe, and legal, profession. He had roots. She never needed to worry that he would disappear in the middle of the night and oh… say, not been seen again for three years. She trusted him, she realized. He was safe. Very safe. Too safe? Would he ever take her riding on the back of a motorcycle and take the turns so fast she'd scream? Well, maybe she didn't want to be on the back of a motorcycle anymore. Elizabeth recalled telling Jason once that she couldn't spend her life there and it really made sense, she thought with conviction.

She decided she just needed to jump in. Jump in with both feet. _I trust him. He's a great guy. He would never hurt me._

She had spent the past six months waiting for her heart to catch up with her head and maybe that was a mistake. Maybe Ryan had a point. Elizabeth kept him at arms length, which kept her heart from moving on. She was stuck in the past and would never move forward if she didn't take the plunge. She had been living in neutral for far too long.

Staring at the bottom of her second drink, Elizabeth felt all warm and fuzzy inside. She pulled out her cell phone and began to dial, then stopped. Feeling oddly energized, she left money on the table, packed up her things and went to hail a cab.

_Jump in with both feet_, she reminded herself as she stood outside the door to his apartment. She felt like her heart was beating through her chest. Knocking, she waited. She checked her watch – midnight – not too late for a Friday. Her fist found the door again and she straightened as she heard the lock twist on the other side.

Ryan cracked the door and lifted his browns in a look of surprise as he eyed Elizabeth. His face relaxed as he appeared to consider her.

They sat in momentary silence.

Feeling nervous, Elizabeth started chewing her bottom lip and rolling her foot onto its side. "Are you going to ask me in?" she asked with a slight smile.

He shook himself, "Yeah, yeah. Sorry, I just didn't expect to see you again tonight." He paused as she walked through the threshold. "Where have you been?"

"Oh, around," she replied, flipping her hand in the air. Turning she noticed that Ryan didn't have a shirt on. His chest was well defined and he was sporting a six pack. Standing there in sleeping pants slung low on his hips; he looked like a runner – muscles all long and lean. Elizabeth felt herself blush. "I-I was at the docks…and Jake's, but mostly Jake's though," she said quickly.

"That would explain the smell," he stated, nodding his head.

"I smell?" she asked, a look of embarrassment on her face as she tucked her hair behind her ear.

Ryan opened his mouth to respond…then paused. "What are you doing here Elizabeth?" he asked as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Realizing it had been a long time since he called her by her full name, she felt a twinge in her chest at the sudden formality from him. "I…I've been thinking and I needed to talk to you." Elizabeth stumbled over her words.

Creasing his forehead, Ryan asked, "How did you get here?"

"Cab."

"Are you drunk?" he questioned directly.

"No. No, I'm not drunk. I probably wouldn't pass a breathalyzer, but that only makes me an unsafe driver. Not that I drove. I would say I'm buzzed. Yeah, definitely buzzed…" Elizabeth babbled.

"So what?" Ryan interrupted, quickly lifted and dropped his shoulders.

"What?" she parroted.

"What did you want to talk about?" he asked.

Elizabeth took a deep breath. _Both feet_, she reminded herself as she walked over to Ryan to stand really, really close to him. Her chest bumped against his still folded arms with each breath she took and she placed her hands in the crooks of his elbows.

"I want you," she said, looking straight into his eyes.

"What?" He sounded confused.

"I want you." Her gaze turned expectant.

"Elizabeth," he said and cocked his head to the side. "What are you doing?"

"I'm telling you what I want. It has taken me a long time to feel ready to be with someone again, but I am and I want to be with you," she said emphatically.

"Why the sudden change?" Ryan's voice was laced with skepticism.

"I…I've been doing a lot of thinking," she repeated.

Ryan looked over Elizabeth's head and furrowed his brow before turning his gaze back to her. "It's been roughly six hours since I left your place and now you're here telling me you've been thinking and that you want me. Are you _sure_ this isn't the alcohol talking?"

"Yes," she nodded her head. "You were right. I've been hiding behind walls, afraid to get hurt, afraid to trust…But when I think about it, I _know_ I trust you, Ryan," she said as she stared into his eyes. "I have always had the ability to be my own worst enemy and this time isn't any different. I'm so tired of hiding and nursing old wounds..." Elizabeth trailed off as she began moving her fingers gently up Ryan's arms; she felt the muscles of his biceps twitch under her delicate touch. She licked her lips and her eyes softened. "Please be with me," she whispered.

Ryan shifted, uncrossing his arms and sliding them around Elizabeth's waist. His breathing deepened, his pupils expanded as his eyes darkened with desire. She felt a shift in the mood as her gaze dropped to his mouth and back up to his eyes. She absently began nibbling her lip.

"Nervous?" he asked, his voice husky.

"A little," she responded truthfully. "It's been a very long time."

"You're positive about this?" he asked as he brushed her hair off her face with his hand.

"Yes," she replied, slowly nodding her head as her heart began to race.

"Well, who am I to turn you down," he said as he took her hand and led her to his bedroom.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11 **

Elizabeth sat on the edge of the bed. She had been on this bed before, she had even slept in it, but there was an energy and tension in the room that was new. Ryan stood in front of her as her eyes danced over his bare chest to meet his soft brown ones. He held her gaze as he shifted to sit beside her. Reaching out to cup her face, letting his thumb stroke her jaw, he asked once again if she was certain and Elizabeth slowly nodded her head in affirmation.

_Both feet, both feet, both feet…_

Her eyes drifted shut as Ryan moved in to kiss her. She felt the sensation of his thumb on her jaw, his lips as they gently brushed against hers, his breath as he said her name. In an attempt to quiet her churning thoughts, she let her mind go soft and start to wander. A slight pressure on her cheek and at the base of her skull had her tipping her head in response as she felt his warm lips open against hers. The sensation of his tongue sliding across her upper lip ignited a burning feeling in the pit of her stomach and she opened her mouth for him.

She felt his fingers moving through her hair, curling around her chocolate locks. A groan broke through the sound of their kisses as he slowly moved his mouth against hers, teasing her with his tongue and teeth. They found a slow, sensual rhythm…He stroked her mouth with a promise of things to come.

All conscious thought was suspended as Elizabeth's mind soared. Her body felt soft, yielding and pliable. She moved closer to him and wrapped her arms around his neck, running her hand over his broad, bronze shoulders and through his soft sandy blonde locks. Her head rolled to the side as he trailed his hot, wet lips down the column of her throat.

Inhaling, she could smell the salty night air and she desperately wanted him to touch her. As if reading her mind, his fingers found the hem of her sweater and he started to tug. His knuckles set her skin ablaze as they skimmed up her ribcage. Her heavy lids lifted and she was blinded by a sea of crimson.

Elizabeth's eyes floated back to their closed position and her head fell forward as he pulled her top over her head and dropped it to the floor. His hands swept her silky tresses out of her face and she felt his lips on hers once again. She sensed his weight shift as he moved, encouraging her to the center of the bed. Slidingbackwards as he crawled over her, she laid her body into the soft cushion of the down comforter.

She could feel him settle above her and move between her legs. Relaxing her thighs, she cradled him and his erection pressed against her center. They began to move in unison, stroking each other until Elizabeth was smoldering for him, her body singing from a primal need. She cupped his face with her hands and arched her head back, offering her neck to him. Complying, she felt him nuzzle her, murmuring against the soft, supple skin of her throat.

Her mind continued to float as her body hummed with passion. His long lean fingers traced a pattern over her jeans, up the outside of her bent leg to her waist. She felt the calloused tips make contact with the sensitive skin around her navel and she shuddered in response. His lips trailed kisses over her collarbone as he cupped her chest, strumming her nipple through the thin silk of her bra.

Elizabeth moaned with anticipation as she felt his pout move down the swell of her breast. He flicked her straining nipple with his tongue and sucked her into his mouth. A moan escaped her lips and through hooded lids she envisioned his steel blue eyes burning a hole to her heart as his gorgeous lips worshipped her breast. Writhing underneath him, Elizabeth laced her hands through his hair, "Oh, God…Jason," she exclaimed as she exhaled.

Ryan froze.

Elizabeth's eyes shot open and she looked down her chest at the dark haired man with his mouth hanging above her breast. Her hands shot over her face and her suddenly suspended heartbeat began to race for an altogether new reason.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god…" she chanted.

Ryan pushed up off of the bed and strode to the other side of the room.

Aware of his departure, Elizabeth sat up and quickly hunted down her sweater. Fumbling to pull it over her head, she managed to get it on backwards and inside out, but she certainly wasn't going to fuss with that now. She stood and turned toward Ryan who was looking out the window.

Elizabeth pinched her eyes closed. "I am _so_ sorry," she expressed, feeling utterly humiliated.

"Me too," he replied curtly.

"I-I don't know what that was about," she gestured toward the bed as she partially lied.

"I think it's pretty obvious," he said, keeping his back toward her.

"Um…okay. Well, um…I'm gonna go," she stammered, pausing to see if he turned.

Peering through the blinds into the night, he clipped, "I think that's a good idea."

Staring at his back, watching it ripple with tension, Elizabeth was overwhelmed with guilt and embarrassment. "I'm _really_ sorry Ryan," she said apologetically.

He didn't reply.

Elizabeth wiped the tear from her cheek and quickly exiting his bedroom, fumbling to retrieve her purse before leaving the apartment.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Jason looked around the shop, smirking and shaking his head at the décor. The joint had Carly's name written all over it. With the popularity of coffee and coffee shops, opening a store front to further legitimize the business wasn't the worst idea he'd ever heard…but customers? He didn't like the idea of people being able to get so close to the hub of their "other" business. It screamed of a potential security nightmare.

"He in?" Jason asked Ritchie with a tip of his head towards to office.

"Yeah, just doin' paperwork," the Italian replied. "Good to have you back," Ritchie stated plainly.

"Yeah, thanks," Jason replied with a slight smile as he strode past him and into Sonny's office.

Sonny, seated in his leather chair, averted his gaze from the invoices strewn across his desk to the stone faced male in his doorway. "Hey. I thought you were goin' to the warehouse today?" he questioned.

"I am," Jason responded. "But I needed to talk to you about something first."

"Shoot."

"It's about Elizabeth," Jason stated directly.

Sonny leaned back in his leather chair and rubbed his chin. "Wow…that was fast," he stated with a smirk on his face. "It's been a long time since I heard that name."

Ignoring his friend, Jason tugged the chair across from Sonny's desk and sat down, stretching his long legs out in front of him. "When I left town, I asked you to keep an eye on her for me," he started.

"Yes. Yes, you did. But there hasn't been must to watch." Sonny shrugged his shoulders. "She moved, started nursing, has kept her nose clean and no one targeted her for her relationship with you… So that about covers what I know."

Jason scratched his brow with his index finger and looked as if he was considering Sonny's statement. Apparently dissatisfied, a noise escaped his throat as he shook his head from side to side. "Nope…somethin's up with her. She made a comment about things changing after I left town…and I don't think she was talking about our break up," Jason stated, looking to Sonny.

"After you left town, she moved and went to nursing school. I would consider that a pretty big change from living in that cramped studio and working as a waitress at Kelly's," Sonny responded, resting his elbows on the arms of his chair and folding his hands in front of him.

"Mmm…I don't know. I just got the feeling there was something more."

Sonny separated his hands briefly, "I mean…I never had guys goin' through her trash. And after a while," he shrugged, "she seemed safe…I would've heard if something happened, Jason," he stated, looking the younger man directly in the eyes.

Jason rubbed the back of his neck, trying to relieve the building tension. He was convinced something had occurred and he'd learned a long time ago to rely on his instincts as they were rarely wrong.

There was a quick knock on the door as it swept open. "Boss," Ritchie stated, "Milo's here to take those files to Bernie."

With a flick of his head, Sonny invited Ritchie into his office as he went to work shuffling and stacking papers. "Hey, Ritchie," he started, "You oversaw the Elizabeth Webber detail for a while, right?"

"Yeah, why?" Ritchie asked, furrowing his brow. "She's ok, right?"

"Not sure," Sonny replied. "Jason thinks something went down after he left town."

Ritchie huffed, "If that guy did anything to her, I'll break his neck."

Jason's head snapped in Ritchie's direction, his brows pulling into a deep v. "Whatdaya know about him?" he rushed.

"Nothin' much…works in medical sales, runner, friend of your sister's boyfriend," Ritchie quickly pointed at Jason. "He's straight laced from what I can tell…but that doesn't mean he's not an asshole. I mean," he shrugged, "he is a guy."

Sonny and Jason exchanged glances before turning their attention back to Ritchie, questioning looks on their faces.

"What?" Ritchie asked. "She's a sweet kid. I always felt kinda bad for her after," his eyes darted from Sonny's to Jason's as he trailed off, "…well, you know. And then when she had the accident, she was a mess…"

"What accident?" Jason interrupted him, his voice strained as his eyes pinned Ritchie's.

Sonny grimaced, "It was a fender bender. No big deal. So minor I forgot about it," he stated with a wave of his hand.

"Not that minor," Ritchie responded under his breath.

Jason and Sonny once again stared at Ritchie. "What's that supposed to mean?" Jason's voice boomed in the small office.

"Nothin'," Ritchie averted his gaze. "It…it just…seemed personal." He glanced back at Jason.

The chair suddenly scrapped across the floor as Jason bolted out of it. "What the _fuck_ are you talking about?" he bellowed. Sweeping his icy blue gaze to his boss he continued, "What the fuck is he talking about Sonny?"

Sonny stood, slowly shaking his head with a marginally sheepish look of on his face. "Shortly after you left town, Elizabeth rear ended a warehouse truck. It was nighttime and it was raining. She was all shook up and went to the hospital, but was released a couple hours later with a taped cut on her forehead. That's it," he said. "I was _assured_ she was fine," Sonny's tone took on an edge as he shifted his gaze to Ritchie.

"Why am I just hearing about this?" Jason growled.

"Jason, you left town. You asked me to make sure she was safe. She was. I wasn't going to call you every time the girl got a splinter," Sonny stated simply.

"She went to the hospital, Sonny." Jason's eyes narrowed.

"For a superficial head wound."

Jason's forehead creased as he turned back to Ritchie. "What were you talking about _it seemed personal_? Were you there?"

"Yeah, I got the call right after it happened."

Jason scowled and curled his hands into tight fists.

Ritchie held his hands up. "Listen, I was told to make sure that no one was after her. I did and no one was."

"Ritchie," Jason stated through gritted teeth as he gave the man a look of warning.

"I'm not even sure what I heard," he paused, "but after the accident, she was scared. Elizabeth asked to be taken to the hospital _after_ she was told she could be treated on the scene."

"Why?" Jason asked.

"I don't know," Ritchie replied seriously.

The group sat in silence as Jason pinched the bridge of his nose. The muscles in his back and shoulders rippled with tension. He put his hands on his hips and searched the floor before looking to Sonny.

"Jason, whatever it was, it couldn't have been a big deal." Sonny tried to assure his friend. "She's obviously fine."

"Would you feel that way if we were talking about Carly?" Jason snapped.

Sonny cocked his head and raised his eyebrows. "We're not talking about my wife, Jason. We're talking about your _ex_-girlfriend."

Jason stared at Sonny as his jaw ticked repeatedly. "I gotta go," he said as he pulled his cell phone from his pocket and strode out of the office.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

"I hate Mondays," Emily directed her statement at the laminated top of the nurse's station, folding her arm to support her fallen head.

Elizabeth furrowed her brow as she listened to her friend. "That bad already?" she asked.

Emily looked up from her temporary shelter. "It just seems there's a lot of clean up work to do from weekend hospitalizations. You know…the weekends are always busier and the night shift seems to admit so many more patients…which I guess makes sense," she trailed off. "But Monday's suck, don't you think?"

"Yes, Em, Monday's suck," Elizabeth stated, placating her friend, because for Elizabeth every day in recent memory was taking on a certain degree of suckiness.

Emily waved her hand, dismissing herself. "Ugh! Listen to me ramble on when you're the one…" she looked sympathetically at her friend. "Let's do lunch so you can unload."

"I don't really have anything to unload," Elizabeth lied, to herself or to Emily she wasn't sure.

Emily scoffed, "Oh, come on Elizabeth…this tough-as-nails routine might work on others, but not me," she stated.

Elizabeth laughed, "I am _so _far from tough-as-nails."

"See," Emily slapped the countertop, "That's why we're having lunch."

* * *

"I can't believe you didn't call me," Emily stressed as she sat in the chair across from her friend. "What did you do all weekend?" she asked, looking around to be certain the break room was empty.

Memories of Friday night flashed through her mind and Elizabeth felt her cheeks redden. "I'm sorry Em, I just needed some time to think," she stated as she fiddled with her lunch. "I've been making so many rash decisions lately that I decided to take it easy and just lay low. I tried yoga," Elizabeth lifted a slender shoulder and expressed a half-hearted chuckled.

Emily sighed. "Elizabeth…you should have called me," she said, her voice laced with concern.

"What do you know?" Elizabeth asked, grimacing.

Emily cocked her head, "Patrick knew Ryan was going to end things, but I swear he didn't tell me," she rushed. "When you guys didn't come to brunch yesterday, he filled me in."

Elizabeth lowered her head then lifted her eyes to look at her best friend. "That's it?" she asked, holding her breath, afraid Emily knew just how much of an ass she'd made out of herself.

"Yeah, why?" Emily asked, looking perplexed.

"Nothing," she stated, shaking her head. "Isn't the fact that he dumped me enough?" Elizabeth asked rhetorically, breaking off a small piece of her sandwich and placing it in her mouth.

Emily reached out to touch her friend. "Elizabeth?"

The touch caused Elizabeth's eyes to water with unshed tears. "I'm a mess," she stated with a shrug and a weak smile.

"Maybe you and Ryan can work things out?"

"Oh…I seriously _doubt_ that will happen," Elizabeth stated. The dejected look on Ryan's face was seared into her memory.

Emily considered her friend for a moment. "Elizabeth, does this have anything to do with Jason returning to town?" she asked, furrowing her brow.

Elizabeth licked her lips. "No…Yes…I don't know," she groaned. "Ryan doesn't know about Jason. I mean, he obviously knows who Jason is and that he was my boyfriend, but that's it. I didn't tell him Jason was back in town. It shouldn't matter."

"But it does."

Even though it sort of sounded like a question, Elizabeth knew it wasn't. Placing her hands over her face, she moaned, then peaked through her fingers at Emily. "I feel like I've been running around like a damn chicken with my head cut off," she stated as she ran her hands down her face.

"Elizabeth," Emily waited for her friend to look at her, "I saw the tears in your eyes last weekend and I know how hard it was for you when he left town. How much he meant to you."

A tear escaped Elizabeth's lower lid, she quickly swiped it away. "I pushed him away. I did. I was so angry that he lied to me…didn't trust me." She sighed.

Emily looked at her compassionately. "Look, there's obviously unfinished business between the two of you."

"I can't change the past Emily," she stated, shaking her head.

Emily perked up slightly. "I know," she paused. "But maybe if you just _talk_ to him you can put it to rest."

Elizabeth released a breath, "Talk…I don't know. It's just – it's just so complicated."

"No it's not. You two loved each other once. You were as close as two people could be. And even before then you were great friends. You could _always_ talk to Jason," Emily implored.

Elizabeth's thoughts drifted. "He won't forgive me," she murmured.

"What's there to forgive? You both hurt each other Elizabeth." Emily glanced at the clock, sighing. "Listen…I love my brother [i_and_[/i I love you. I just want you both to be happy."

"Thanks," Elizabeth responded with the largest smile she could muster.

* * *

The elevator chime announced his arrival to the 7th floor.

Stepping off and looking around, Jason was tense. He had called Emily at least four times in the past two hours and she never picked up and hadn't called back. Reaching out he stopped a petite blonde nurse, "Excuse me. Have you seen Emily Quartermaine? She's a resident."

"No, sorry. You might want to ask them to page her at the nurse's station. I'd do it, but Dr. Drake's waiting for these," she stated, lifting a bag of supplies.

"O-okay. Thanks." Jason offered her a small smile.

Looking to the nurse's station, Jason recognized the back of Audrey Hardy. She was alone. It had been a long time since he had been belittled by Elizabeth's grandmother. _Maybe this time…_

"Mrs. Hardy?" he asked.

The older woman visible stiffened and paused before turning on her heel. "What can I do for you _Miste_r Morgan? I hope you're not here to see Elizabeth."

_Maybe not._

"I'm…I'm looking for Emily. Have you seen her?"

A tense smile moved Audrey's face. "Your sister is such a delight, but I'm afraid I have not."

Mrs. Hardy stared at Jason. He fidgeted and looked away.

"Mister Morgan, I can't say I'm pleased to see you back in Port Charles," she clipped. "Despite how you hurt her, Elizabeth has been able to move on. She started a career and is involved with a very nice young man." She eyed him.

Jason swallowed hard. He hated this. Hated it with a passion, but… "Mrs. Hardy, what happened to Elizabeth after I left town?"

Audrey looked taken aback. "She improved her life, that's what."

He ticked the muscle of his jaw. "What about the accident?"

Keeping her eyes on him, she raised one perfect brow. "The accident?" Audrey took a deep breath. "Are you referring to the fender bender?" She continued, "I do not know where you're getting your information Mister Morgan, but I would suggest double checking your sources."

"She was brought to GH."

"With a superficial head wound," Audrey countered.

Why the _fuck_ did people keep saying that to him? "That's it?" Jason pressed.

"It is. But if it wasn't, I wouldn't tell you," she responded, her voice flat. "Mister Morgan," she pinned his eyes with hers, "stay away from my granddaughter." With that, Audrey turned on her heel and left him standing there.

* * *

_Later that same day…_

"Elizabeth."

Elizabeth turned at the sound of her grandmother's sharp voice. "Yes, Grams?"

"Are you trying to ruin your relationship with Ryan?" Audrey stood in the hospital corridor holding charts with her arms crossed over her chest.

Oh, no. Elizabeth closed her eyes briefly, she had not told her grandmother of the break up. She cringed. "There is no relationship Grams."

Audrey huffed. "So, Mister Morgan decides to stroll back into town and you simply push a good and decent suitor aside to run back into the arms of that mobster?" she questioned abruptly.

Elizabeth blinked and a quizzical looked covered her face. "How do you – ," she paused, "That's not what happened."

"How do I know Mister Morgan is here?" Audrey asked, finishing her granddaughter's statement. "Did you think you could hide it from me?"

Elizabeth was taken aback. Her Grams hadn't spoken to her this way in years. They had reestablished a connection once her relationship with Jason ended and she went to nursing school. Elizabeth had been living her life in a manner Audrey approved of, and it had done wonders for them. Elizabeth felt he blood begin to boil.

"Grams," she stated sharply. "Did I know Jason was back in town? Yes. Did him being back have anything to do with Ryan and I breaking up? No. Ryan and I had problems of our own. The big one being that I don't love him." Elizabeth inhaled, "Do you need to worry about Jason and I? No. Jason and I are _not_ getting back together."

"I am concerned for you Elizabeth," the older woman said, softening.

Elizabeth's heaving chest slowed as she saw the look of genuine distress on her Grams' face. Although it had felt really good to express herself that way, she hated yelling at her grandmother. She offered her a small smile, "There's nothing to be worried about."

"But Ryan –," Grams started.

"Ryan is a great guy. He really is. He's just not great for me. I've _been_ in love Grams…with Lucky and Jason," her voice trailed off, "and I _know_ what it feels like." She lifted a small shoulder, "And it just wasn't there with Ryan. And you can't force it," the younger woman stated with a huff and a shake of her head.

Audrey considered her granddaughter before speaking, "I know you don't want to hear this, but I have been around the block a time or two and I know what a hard climb love can be."

Elizabeth interrupted, "But it was always you and grandpa."

The older woman chuckled, just slightly. "No Elizabeth. No it wasn't. Yes, your grandfather and I loved each other for most of our adult lives, and although I was his only wife, I had two other husbands."

Audrey ignored the slight look of surprise on Elizabeth's face and continued.

"Your grandfather was a very hardworking man, Elizabeth. Steve was honorable, loyal, caring. He had such a wonderful bedside manner, was _such_ a good listener, and was very devoted to this hospital…sometimes at the expense of the people he cared about," she paused. "He worked long hours and was here _anytime_ he was needed. He was such a gallant man."

Elizabeth was speechless as she listened to her grandmother with rapt attention.

The older woman's eyes glistened. "When your grandfather suddenly died and I had to say goodbye to him, I would have given anything for another day together. One more day to be with him and tell him how much he meant to me and how much I loved our life. Even the times we spent apart where instrumental in making us who we were…and gave us you, Sarah and Steven." Audrey sighed and locked eyes with her granddaughter, "I want you to find that kind of love Elizabeth. Love with an honest, hardworking, caring man. A man you can trust with your heart."

A tear slipped down Elizabeth's check.

Audrey flipped her hand in the air. "Oh…listen to me yammering on, and at work of all places." She lifted the charts in her arms. "I've got paperwork to do." Walking up to Elizabeth, she pressed a kiss into her forehead. "You should consider giving Ryan another chance," she stated before walking away.

Elizabeth held her breath until her grandmother was out of sight, then exhaled as if she had been punched in the gut. Ryan? He grandmother would keel over if the older woman knew that talking about Elizabeth's grandfather in such a way had _only_ made Elizabeth think of Jason.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

She was cursing.

Marching and cursing.

The g.d. elevator was broken _once_ again. Not that two flights of stairs were difficult, but after the day she'd had…it would figure.

Coming to the stairwell landing, Elizabeth balanced her small sack of groceries on her hip while she turned the knob to the metal door and kicked it open with her foot. Continuing to mumble to herself about the super and the idea of withholding rent, she came to a screeching halt as she rounded the corner to her apartment and eyed Jason Morgan standing by her door leaning against the brick wall.

He immediately straightened at the sight of her. "Hey," he offered, apparently eager to see her.

His presence threw her for a loop and she felt her cheeks redden in response. "Hey," she returned, her voice slightly wobbly.

Jason scratched his cheek and then shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. "I need – want – I wanna talk to you about something," he stammered.

Elizabeth's brow furrowed, she wasn't sure this was something she wanted to agree to. "What?" she asked, her tone suspicious.

"Can we…," he trailed off as he flicked his head towards her apartment door.

She hesitated and began worrying her bottom lip.

"Please?" Jason questioned, apparently recognizing her resistance. He stepped towards her and reached for the bag of groceries.

Elizabeth sighed loudly and handed them over. She had a bad feeling about this. Digging through her purse, she hunted down her keys and unlocked the door to let them in.

* * *

He followed her into her apartment. She turned on the light and dropped her keys on the console table. Jason chuckled to himself at the memory of her doing that exact same thing with her keys when they lived together. Her keys never went back into her purse; they were always dropped onto his desk, which was exactly what he did with his set.

"Here, let me take those," Elizabeth said, rousing Jason from his thoughts by tugging at the bag in his arms.

He followed her to the entrance of her kitchen and leaned on the frame as he watched her put away her purchases.

"I bought some soup. Chicken noodle. Did you eat dinner? Because we can share. It's getting cooler out, don't ya think? I thought soup would be nice on a night like this. Do you want some? 'Cause I can get down two bowls and split it up. I have rolls too if you want one." Elizabeth took a quick breath and opened her refrigerator, grabbing her lone beer. "You still like imports, right? Of course you do. Your taste in beer has been the same for as long as I've known you. Did you eat? 'Cause I know how you can forget to eat when you're busy. Did you?"

It had been awhile since Jason witnessed a full blown Elizabeth Webber babblefest. Oddly enough, he found it comforting. It was familiar and because she was rambling away, he knew she was nervous and being nervous was better than being angry.

"Jason. Did you?" she asked sharply, thrusting a beer at him.

"Did I what?" he questioned, taking the bottle from her.

Elizabeth huffed and eyed him. "Did you eat?"

"I'm not hungry."

"That's not what I asked."

"No, I didn't eat."

"When did you last eat?"

"I had coffee this morning."

"Coffee isn't a meal."

"It can be."

"Not a sufficient one." Elizabeth grabbed the phone. "You need to eat. I'm ordering a pizza," she announced as she dialed the phone number from memory.

The corner of Jason's mouth hitched as he brought the cold beer to his lips and took a long pull from the bottle. He listened as Elizabeth ordered a large pie, half pepperoni and half pineapple, exactly how they did years ago. Although he _still_ didn't understand how anyone could eat pineapple on their pizza. It just seemed wrong.

"They said thirty minutes," she informed him, returning the phone to its cradle.

Jason and Elizabeth stood in her small kitchen exchanging awkward glances. He took another gulp of his beer, which allowed her to scoot by him. He turned, beer in his mouth, and watched her head towards her bedroom.

"I'm gonna change. I'll be right back," she offered as she quickly went to her room.

Alone in her home, Jason took the opportunity to look around a bit since the last time he had been there he'd only seen this part of her apartment as she was kicking him out. Her living room and breakfast nook were lined with oversized windows. Though it was dark outside, he once again thought about how great the natural light must be for painting.

His eyes moved over the easel folded in the corner, with canvases leaning against the wall beside it. Looking around the room, Jason realized that Elizabeth didn't have any of her work on display. She had some colorful pottery and a small sculpture, but no original paintings. He walked over to the stacked canvases and fingered through them, finding them all blank.

The pitter patter of little feet on the hardwood floors drew Jason's attention away from his inspection of Elizabeth's lack of artwork. He chuckled as Jake came bounding down the hall from the bedroom. That cat had to be the fattest thing he had ever seen. The beast stopped and cocked his head to the side, sizing the enforcer up.

"It's me, Jake. The one who likes you," he said quietly to be certain Elizabeth couldn't hear him referencing the night he broke in.

"Jake," she called.

"He's in here."

Jason watched as Elizabeth came out of her bedroom.

"Huh…There you are. How did you sneak past me?" she asked, scooping up the cat, "Are you ready to eat?"

She had changed into well worn jeans and a light weight black v neck sweater. Her skin glowed like alabaster against the dark color of the sweater. Her chocolate tresses were loose, left long and wavy around her face and shoulders. He thought long hair suited her.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" he asked.

"What?" she questioned in return as she walked away with the animal.

Jason moved closer to the kitchen. "Feeding that thing."

Elizabeth popped her head out of the kitchen entrance, her forehead was creased and her nose scrunched up. 'What are you talking about?"

He chuckled. "Jake is overweight," he said matter-of-factly.

She gasped and looked offended, "He is not."

The enforcer's chuckle continued, "Umm…yes he is. He needs a kitty diet. You know, Elizabeth, not everyone has your metabolism. How much people food do you give him?"

"I – I don't," she stammered. She was busted. "What are you…the cat whisperer?" Elizabeth flapped her hand at Jason and returned to the task at hand.

Shrugging out of his jacket, Jason tossed it over a chair as he continued to laugh at Elizabeth's response to his goading. As his laughter subsided, the smile on his face remained. He turned to face her when she exited the kitchen. The grin tugging her lips was wide and genuine.

"He gets ice cream. That's it. And ice cream is a milk based product so it is good for him," she teased, defending herself.

Jason merely nodded his head at her confession. As they stood there, the silence turned awkward once again, the reason for his visit hanging between them. Her smile faded and the look on Elizabeth's face shifted.

"So?" she asked, shrugging her shoulders and looking at him expectantly.

Jason shuffled his feet and swallowed hard. "Elizabeth," he started, "something you said the other night, it – it made me think. You said something about –,"

A loud knock on the door interrupted him.

Elizabeth startled. "Damn, that was fast. I mean they're only across the street, but it must be a slow night," she said as she grabbed her purse.

Irritated by the interruption, Jason reached into his back pocket, retrieved his wallet and pulled out cash. Crossing the living room in three long strides, he opened the door, took the pizza, handed the delivery man the money, offered a quick thanks and shut the door behind him. His actions were brisk and efficient. Elizabeth looked at him, just having found her wallet in her purse, and scowled.

"I was going to pay for that."

"I took care of it."

"Well, I didn't want you to."

Jason huffed; he was anxious to talk to her and really wanted to move things along. "Can we please just eat?"

She looked at him for a moment and put her wallet back into her purse. "Thanks," she said simply.

"You're welcome," he countered.

"Take it to the coffee table and I'll grab plates," Elizabeth said as she entered the kitchen.

Once again they sat in silence. Elizabeth picked off the pineapple wedges and popped them into her mouth, while Jason folded his first slice in half and practically finished it in two large bites. She glanced at him and offered him a small, nervous smile. He returned the smile with a slight crooked one of his own.

"You have sauce on your face," she informed him, pointing just outside the corner of her mouth as a guide to location.

Jason wiped his cheek with his napkin. "Did I get it?"

"Yeah," she nodded.

"Are you gonna eat?" he asked, feeling impatient. He was holding off on his line of questioning, waiting for the woman to get one slice of pizza in her stomach, and at this rate they would still be sitting there tomorrow.

"I am eating," she replied.

"You're picking," he paused. "That isn't eating."

"What did you want to talk to me about?" Elizabeth asked, likely sensing his restlessness.

"Finish your pizza first," he instructed.

"I can't."

Jason swore and finished his beer. Pausing, he looked at her. "At least take a bite."

Elizabeth picked up her slice and took a small bite. Chewing momentarily, she swallowed and opened her mouth for his inspection. "There. Are you happy?"

Stifling a chuckle, Jason ran a hand down his face. He looked at Elizabeth, swallowed and decided to cut the crap. "Tell me about the car accident you had after I left Port Charles."

Her lips parted slightly as her jaw went slack. Jason watched as the color drained from her face and her eyes widened. She sat in an apparent state of stunned silence for a moment before reanimating.

Elizabeth wiped her hands down the length of her jean clad thighs as she cleared her throat, looked Jason straight in the eyes and said, "Do you mean the fender bender?"


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

"Do you mean the fender bender?"

Jason saw red.

If he never heard the words 'fender bender' again it would be too soon. Between Sonny, Audrey and now Elizabeth, it was shit. He _knew_ it was shit. The look on her face _screamed_ it was shit. Why was _everyone_ peddling shit?

He tried - really tried - to measure his response in the face of his seething rage. Jason stood up and started pacing. He rubbed a hand over the back of his tense neck before pinching the bridge of his nose. When that didn't work he ran his hands down his face and huffed. Then he stopped his long strides, placed his hand on his hips and turned to face Elizabeth.

She hadn't moved. Sitting still on the sofa, her small hands were clasped together on her lap, her feet flat on the floor, shoulders slumped and chin down. But her eyes were turned up, following Jason's movement as he tried to decompress. She looked like a frightened school girl.

Jason swore.

"_Please_ don't ever say that again," he said through gritted teeth.

"Say what?" her voice was small.

"That thing about the car accident," he instructed.

"What…fender bender?" she asked for clarification.

The vein in his temple throbbed. He could feel the blood pumping through his system; hear his heart beat pounding in his head. The intonation of those two words was like nails on a chalkboard. Jason hated those words and hoped that the scowl on his face properly indicated just how much.

"Yes," he hissed, resuming his pacing.

"Okay," she responded wide eyed. Elizabeth still hadn't moved a muscle.

* * *

Oh, he was pissed. Elizabeth couldn't remember the last time she had seen Jason this angry. It was a little scary. She watched as he stalked across the room, using his entire arsenal of self soothing techniques, but apparently to no avail. This whole thing with the term 'fender bender' was new to her. Odd, but whatever, she was not going to argue with him.

It was obvious that he thought he knew something. Yes, she had let a couple of cryptic comments slip out in the heat of anger, comments she had kicked herself for later, but she couldn't help it. Having him back in town forced her to start thinking about things, forced her to remember what he had done, what she had done, what they had lost.

She told herself that if she just kept her head on straight, she could get through this. No one knew the truth, sans her doctor, a nurse and a lab tech. If she could just keep it together, she could talk her way out of this.

Her insides were warm and tingly as adrenaline rushed through her body. Elizabeth struggled to stop her mind from wandering at the mention of the accident. She tried very hard not to think about how her heart had ached, the sound of the rain on the windshield, the lightning as it illuminated the night sky, the screeching tires...

Elizabeth quickly pinched her eyes closed at the pricking sensation of tears. She cursed herself, then him for poking around in her business. He just couldn't let sleeping dogs lie.

Jumping off the sofa she roared, "Who in the _hell_ do you think you are?"

Jason's pacing came to a sudden halt as he whipped around to look at her in utter amazement. "W-what?"

Elizabeth marched around the coffee table and straight up to Jason's chest. She pulled herself to her full height and shoved her finger at him. "You have no right snooping around in my life Jason Morgan! You gave up any rights to me the moment you left Port Charles," she ranted.

"See that," he countered, pointing back at her. "That right there. What the _hell_ does that mean?" he questioned as his voice grew.

Her brow furrowed. "What does _what_ mean?" she asked in return, her voice straining.

"Elizabeth, we were already broken up when I left Port Charles. So why is _that_ event the one that keeps coming up?"

Her face dropped. "Are you serious? Jason, I already told you. For me, our relationship wasn't over until I found out you left town."

"But you had moved out of the penthouse. You told me we were through weeks before I left."

"Two weeks."

"What?"

"Two weeks," she repeated somberly. "You left town exactly two weeks after I moved out of the penthouse." Elizabeth averted her eyes.

She felt Jason's eyes trained on her. She could practically hear the gears churning in his head as he scrutinized her.

His eyes narrowed. "Why did you go to the hospital?"

Elizabeth lifted her cornflower blues to look at him.

"Just tell me," he said softly.

She felt heavy and tired. Tired of hiding, tired of lying, tired of carrying the pain on her own, it was eating her up inside. But the guilt, the shame, the grief…those dark clouds were dense enough to eclipse any shred of desire to tell the truth and to keep anyone from reaching it. Elizabeth raked her hands through her hair. "I needed stitches on my forehead," she clipped.

"Not according to Ritchie," he countered.

Surprised, her gaze shot back to his face. A sense of panic pooled in her stomach as she couldn't recall for the life of her how much Ritchie knew about her accident, which would make it very difficult to lie. "O-oh…and what else did Dr. Ritchie have to say?" she questioned sarcastically.

Jason looked at her unapologetically. "He said you could have been treated on the scene, but [i_asked_[/i to be taken to the hospital."

Elizabeth was speechless. Lying was not a strength of hers, especially to Jason. He was always able to see through her, to know there was something wrong by simply looking into her eyes. A flood of emotions clouded her ability to think as the sense of panic grew.

His eyes were searching her face, trying to lock with hers. She continued to shift her gaze in an attempt to avoid him. A wave of nausea hit her as her internal dam threatened to crumble.

"I can't do this," Elizabeth muttered as she turn and ran to her bedroom.

* * *

Jason was stunned.

Watching Elizabeth sprint to her room was perplexing and confirming. He knew there was something more to that car accident and her little escape attempt proved it. And damn Sonny for not keeping an eye on her like he promised he would. A flash of guilt hit Jason as he knew it should have been _him _keeping an eye on her.

He took a deep breath and walked down the hall to her room, using his knuckles to gently knock on the door. There was no response. He tested the knob and found it locked.

"Elizabeth," he called softly.

No response.

"Elizabeth, please open the door. I just want to understand."

"There's nothing to understand," she paused, "It's over and done with. It's like it never even happened."

He could hear the tears in her voice and his chest tightened.

"Like what never happened?" he asked.

Silence.

Jason's forehead creased as he listened and tried to distinguish the muffled sounds coming from the other side of the door. He heard noises closer to the floor and a slight thump on the wood. He instinctively crouched down.

"I-I wanted to tell you," Elizabeth said before she hiccupped.

Her voice carried through the door; he could tell she was sitting on the floor just on the other side. Jason shifted and sat, leaning back against the door and turning his head towards the jamb.

"Tell me what?" he asked.

Jason pinched his eyes closed at the sound of her tears. He cracked his knuckles at the desire to beat something up. He wanted to kick down the door and take her in his arms. Try to make it better for her. Her sobs continued.

"Elizabeth, please open the door and talk to me," he pled.

"I was pregnant," she whispered.

Jason's heart stopped cold in his chest. He furrowed his brow, blinking rapidly as he tried to wrap his brain around what he thought he heard her say.

"Pregnant?" he asked hoarsely.

He could hear her weeping, the muffled sounds wafting through the door and attacking his heart. The enforcer ran a hand down his face, clasping it over his mouth. The back of his head found the door as his icy blue eyes slowly closed. Raising his skull slightly, he smacked it back against the door…_smack_…_smack_…_smack_…

"Elizabeth. Open the door," he commanded.

His vision blurred slightly as tears pooled, her confession and the sound of her crying was killing him.

"Elizabeth," his voice cracked, "if you won't open the door, then back up, because I'm coming in." Jason rose to his feet and stared at the barrier between them.

Steeling himself, he stopped when he detected the faint scrape of metal. Reaching out, he clasped his hand around the knob and turned it slowly. The door gave way and he hesitantly opened it, unsure what would happen when he saw her on the other side.

Jason's shoulders slumped as he exhaled the breath he didn't know he was holding. Elizabeth was on the floor by her bed, her legs curled underneath her, her face buried in her hands and her slight shoulders shaking as she wept. Swallowing hard, he slowly moved beside her and crouched down.

Reaching out, he ever so gently placed the palm of his hand on the crown of her head and stroked the length of her hair and down her back. Once his fingers reached the base of her spine, he nudged her and she collapsed into him. Her delicate hands fisting the material of his shirt as her chest heaved.

He lowered his nose to her hair and closed his eyes. He was floored. She had been pregnant. _Pregnant_. She would have had a baby. His baby. Their baby. And the baby? The accident? The accident.

Jason began murmuring to her as his hand made small circles on her back. Trying to comfort her and ease her tears. He placed a kiss on the crown of her head and cleared his throat to choke back the lump that had formed there.

Pulling back, his hands cupped her head as he lifted her face to see her. Elizabeth's eyes were puffy and rimmed red, her nose was runny, her cheeks wet with tears and her lips turned down as her chin quivered. Jason's eyes locked with hers and a stabbing pain shot through his chest as he witnessed the depths of sorrow in her indigo orbs.

She squirmed and stood, freeing herself from his hold and his gaze. "Don't look at me like that," her voice was thick with emotion.

He wiped his eyes and stood. "Like what?"

Elizabeth dragged her teeth across her bottom lip. "Like I deserve your sympathy."

Jason rubbed the back of his neck. "Elizabeth, I don't – I don't know what I think," he stammered.

"Let me help you," she stated, her voice taking on an edge through her tears. "I _killed_ our baby. You should hate me as much as I hate myself." Elizabeth folded her arms across her chest and turned, walking over to her bedroom window.

He watched in stunned silence as a sob escaped her lips, as she dropped her head and tears fell onto her forearms. Moving behind her he placed a hand on her shoulder, allowing his thumb to caress her.

"I will never believe that. I don't care what you tell me," he paused, "because I will _never_ believe that."

Elizabeth lifted her face and looked out into the dark night. "I shouldn't have been on the roads that night," she shook her head as she whispered.

"Why were you?" he asked simply.

She was quiet for a moment, as if lost in her own thoughts. "What?"

"Why were you driving that night?" he questioned, "Who sends a pregnant woman out in a storm?" Jason felt himself getting angry at the thought of someone, anyone, not offering her a safe place to stay until the storm passed.

"No one knew I was pregnant. Besides you know how it is here, storms blow in and the weather changes on a dime…but I just couldn't stay where I was," her voice trailed off.

"Where were you?" Jason struggled to keep his voice level as his insides raged.

Elizabeth wiped the tears from her face and shook her head, "Nowhere…it doesn't really matter at this point."

He took a deep breath, "It does to me."

She turned her head to the side and glanced at him before returning her gaze to the ink black night. "I was at the penthouse," her voice sounded flat and lifeless.

Jason grimaced and his eyes closed briefly. "My penthouse?" he asked although he already knew the answer.

But another tear rolled down Elizabeth's cheek as she nodded her head.


	16. Chapter 16

_AN: Thanks to everyone who has been reading Fortress. I have opened my own fanfic website and this is the last chapter I will post here. I have other stories and one shots there that I have not posted here and will be doing site exclusive works as well. As for Fortress, I will still post it at The Canvas or you can go to my site to check it out from here forward. A link to my site is on my profile page. Thanks again !_

* * *

**Chapter 16**

The silence was deafening.

Elizabeth stood in front of her bedroom window, her arms folded across her chest hugging herself, as her tear streaked face stared into the night. Jason stood behind her, head hung low, fingers intertwined as his hands cupped the back of his neck.

She didn't know what to say to him. She hadn't intended to tell him the truth, but was naïve in thinking she could hide it from him. Their relationship was always so confusing. They knew when the other was hurting by simply looking into their eyes, but at the same time, the number of ways they misunderstood and misinterpreted each other was simply astounding. They were a conundrum.

Jason cleared his throat and Elizabeth turned her head slightly in response. "Can you please walk me through what happened?" he asked; his voice gravely.

She took a deep cleansing breath and wiped the remnants of her tears off her cheeks. Turning, she walked past him and sat on the edge of her bed. "Where do you want me to start?" she questioned as she watched her fingers twisting in her lap.

"Elizabeth, this is by no means and accusation, but we used protection," Jason stated, looking at the top of her head.

She touched her forehead and shifted. She didn't want to have this conversation, but now that he knew she had been pregnant, he deserved the truth. The chips would fall where they may.

Elizabeth cleared her throat before speaking. "No birth control is one hundred percent effective," she paused, "and there was that time we started to – you know – in the shower," she trailed off. "I don't know exactly how it happened, but it did." She lifted her eyes to meet his.

Jason swallowed hard and rubbed a hand over his face. "When did you find out?"

"It all happened so fast." Elizabeth averted her gaze, staring at some nondescript spot across the room. Her voice sounded far away…distant. "About a week after I moved out of the penthouse I realized I was late. I took a test and it was positive," she sighed as her lips briefly curled into a small pained smile. "I didn't want to tell you until it was confirmed by my doctor. After my appointment, I went straight to the penthouse…"

The enforcer's eyes rolled closed. "What happened?" his voice cracked.

Her eyes moved to his face. "I think you can piece the rest together," Elizabeth stated simply.

Jason shook his head. "I-I need to hear what happened Elizabeth. I need you to tell me."

"You weren't there," she responded, her voice tight and strained. "I looked at the sheets draped over the furniture and I was so confused. I went to your room and opened your closet, looked in your bathroom for _any _sign that I was mistaken. And when I realized I wasn't…I cried," she paused and sniffled, then wiped her nose. "I was pregnant and you were gone."

"I would have come back," the words tumbled out of Jason's mouth.

Elizabeth's wet eyes found his. She searched his face as the statement fell between them.

* * *

Jason fidgeted. He felt like an ass, but he _needed_ to understand what happened. The news that years ago he could have had a child, but that child died, flattened him like a steamroller. There was no going back to fix things, that he knew, but he wanted to understand what Elizabeth had been living with. 

"That was the night of the car accident," he stated.

Elizabeth nodded her head in response. "I shouldn't have been driving. Between the weather and…" she trailed off. "I had no business being on the road," her voice cracked as her eyes glassed over.

He blew out a breath. "How did it happen?"

"I was driving on Harbor View, thinking about what I was going to do –"

"What do you mean 'what you were going to do'?" he interrupted as he furrowed his brow.

"Jason," she said sharply. "I was the _worst_ kind of cliché…a waitress pregnant with an illegitimate child by a mobster who had skipped town," she paused. "Don't get me wrong. I loved our baby. I loved it from the moment it sunk in that I was pregnant. I was even starting to get excited about the idea of you and me and our baby." Elizabeth stood and walked to the other side of the room. "After I found out about the baby, I had every intention of us trying to work things out, seeing if you would want to be a family. And when I realized you were gone…" she turned her back to him and was silent for a moment before continuing.

"It was raining hard and I was crying. Before I knew what was happening I saw the red lights off the back of truck. I slammed on my breaks and the car started skidding. I couldn't remember what to do. Pump the breaks? Turn into the skid…away from the skid? My mind shut down and all I could think about was the baby."

Elizabeth stopped talking. Jason saw her back expand and relax as she took multiple deep breaths. He watched her arms move to cradle her stomach where their child had once been.

"The airbag released on impact, and as I sat there pinned against the seat I did a mental scan of my body and nothing hurt," her voice lifted momentarily. "My heart was racing, but I wasn't in any pain. It wasn't until after I was pulled from the car that the shock wore off. My head started throbbing and I got scared. I made them take me to the hospital."

She wiped her cheeks and turned to face Jason. "The doctor in the ER said that if it was going to happen there was nothing they could do to stop it. It was even too soon to find the baby's heartbeat." Elizabeth's chin started quivering.

Jason stiffened. He wanted to punch something. "Why didn't you call anyone?"

"I just wanted to go home. I didn't want to talk or answer questions. I just wanted to be." Her eyes met his and he knew exactly what she meant.

Elizabeth turned away from him again before speaking. "The cramping started around three a.m.," her voice wavered. "I'd fallen asleep a couple of hours before thinking that everything was okay. It had been hours since the accident and nothing had happened." She lifted a small shoulder, "I thought we were in the clear."

Jason heard her breath hitch and watched her shoulders start to tremble. He reached for her, and then dropped his hand. Elizabeth's cry rolled into a sob as she shuddered. Unable to stop himself, he stepped up behind her and wrapped her in his arms, pulling her against his chest.

He placed his lips against the crown of her head as she wept. A pit of grief had formed low in his stomach and was rising with each passing minute. To say he had let her down was an understatement. She had been pregnant and excited and then had to suffer through the loss on her own.

Elizabeth moved in his arms, trying to pull herself free, but Jason refused to let go. His return forced her to face the loss [i_and_[/i he had asked her to recount it. He damn well wasn't about to abandon her now.

When he wouldn't release her, she folded her body over his arms as she cried. Jason turned them and led her to the bed. Elizabeth crawled into the middle and curled into a ball. Wanting to be with her, he kicked off his shoes and followed, wrapping himself around her once more. Her back nestled against his chest as her face found a spot on his shoulder. He pressed his cheek against her hair as they lay together.

Jason stroked her arm as he murmured to her gently. He was filled with sorrow. His head hurt, his heart hurt. The thought of what Elizabeth had gone through…scared and alone. He wanted to get into a bar fight, he wanted to shoot something. His muscles rolled and bunched with tension.

* * *

She could feel the warmth of his breath fan across her neck and shoulder as Jason exhaled slowly. She could feel his fingers caressing her arm gingerly. But Elizabeth was exhausted, too exhausted to react to being pressed so intimately against her former lover, the father of her unborn child. 

She was torn. On the one hand, she felt as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders; carrying the grief of the loss on her own for almost three years had lain heavy against her soul. She was so angry with Jason, so angry with herself, and wasn't willing to open her pain up to anyone else's critique. The mere thought of Grams saying something negative about Jason, in response to learning about the baby and the miscarriage, filled Elizabeth with rage. The idea of hearing the words "it was for the best" or "it was part of God's plan" made her want to throw something. In truth, the only opinion that mattered was his.

And he had yet to give it.

Mixed with the turmoil of reliving her experience, sharing with him the truth about what had happened after he left town, was fear. Fear that after the shock wore off, after he was noble and provided an appropriate amount of support, that he would look at her the way she looked at herself; as an irresponsible, immature, petulant girl who had carelessly risked the life of their child and lost.

Jason shifted behind her, moved to line up his mouth with her ear. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

Her eyelids fell closed in response.

His fingers moved her hair away from her ear, sliding it over her shoulder and off her neck before returning to her arm and running down the length of it.

For a split second, Elizabeth imagined it was three years ago and he was with her, caring for her exactly the way he was in this moment. But that thought only triggered the never ending train of "what if's". She was a prisoner to "what if's".

He cleared his throat. "I would have come back," he repeated, the words leaving his lips much slower the second time.

Elizabeth nodded her head. Hearing him say it now, she believed him, but at the time…

"The _only_ reason I left was because I loved you," he sighed, "I couldn't – I just couldn't run into you around town and act like I didn't care, like you didn't matter to me. I thought it would be better for you…better for us, if I left." Jason's voice was thick with emotion.

She drew her bottom lip into her mouth and began to chew as the tears pricked the backs of her eyes once again.

He swallowed hard. "Losing the – our baby – was _not _your fault. If it's anyone's, it's mine. I should have been there for you. Not running half way around the world like some fucking coward." Jason rolled onto his back and ran a hand down his face, then punched the mattress next to his hip.

She jumped slightly at the unexpected action of his fist connecting with the padding beneath them. Listening to him try to take responsibility didn't make Elizabeth feel any better. For three years she had blamed herself for being careless, him for leaving town, God for the storm, and anything or anyone else she could imagine for her loss. She had created a fortress of guilt, blame and grief, and had condemned herself behind those walls. She couldn't sit by and watch him do the same.

Elizabeth rolled towards him. "Jason, look at me," she requested.

He blew out a large breath before turning. They were lying side by side, facing each other. She searched his face. His watery blue eyes pierced straight through to her heart. In that moment she realized how much she had needed to do this with him. Grieve _with_ him.

Her lips curled into a small sad smile. Elizabeth lifted her hand and pressed it to the side of Jason's face, cupping his cheek. "You are _not_ a coward. You were hurt and you did what was best for yourself. I pushed you away," she paused. "I pushed you away and then I blamed you for not being there when I needed you. It was wrong…I was wrong."

"But I should've –," he started.

Elizabeth pressed her fingers to his lips. "Jason, you're not psychic. There was no way for you to have known."

They were silent for a moment then her eyes rolled back into her head as she fell onto her back. "Ryan was so right…although he had no idea why."

Jason's brow furrowed. "Right about what?"

She turned her face to look at him. "The walls, remember?" She continued, "I thought I had moved on…moving to a new place, going to nursing school, getting a new job. I _really_ thought I had moved forward, but emotionally…I've been stuck. It hurts, but at the same time, it's relieving to finally talk about it," she paused, "with you."

Elizabeth watched his icy blues move over her features. Saw the glint off a single tear as it escaped the corner of his eye. She grimaced and reached up to wipe it away. Jason rarely cried and the sight of it tweaked her heart.

He licked his lips. "I'm glad you told me," he exhaled, "but I still need some time with this."

She nodded her head in silent understanding as her tears fell once more. Turning towards him again, she snaked her arms around his neck, wiggling into his and they held each other.

* * *

Elizabeth stirred. She swallowed as she nestled her head, she took a slow, deep breath, inhaling the scent around her, she flexed her fingers over the smooth surface of taut skin, firm muscles… 

Her mind caught up with her surroundings. Finally assigning meaning to the sensations around her, she froze. Her eyes opened as the morning sunlight streamed into her bedroom windows, highlighting everything in a warm glow.

She was lying against Jason's chest. He was on his back, cradling her with one arm and she was nuzzled against his side, her head in the crook of his shoulder. His hand was tucked into the waistband of her jeans; she could feel the warmth of his fingers splayed low on her back. Elizabeth's leg was draped high over his and her hand had apparently burrowed itself under his shirt. His free arm was resting across his stomach, his hand cupping her elbow.

She noticed a throw blanket was draped over them and her bedroom lights were turned off. Her eyes drifted closed as her pulse quickened, being with him like this after so many years felt surreal. A small smile curled her lips ever so slightly with the knowledge that he had chosen to stay.

It suddenly struck her that her eyes felt like someone had poured sand into them. She desperately needed to rub them, but didn't want to. Elizabeth felt apprehensive about facing Jason in the light of day. Between learning of the baby last night and waking with him like this, a lot had happened between them in the past twelve hours. She was unsure how he would feel. They'd wake up…talk…have coffee…then have to go to work…

Work!

Elizabeth's eyes shot opened as she strained to see the clock from her position. No luck. She lifted her head, craning her neck to try to catch a glimpse of the digital numbers. All she could make out was the seven and she knew she was screwed. She was supposed to be at work at seven.

She looked at him. His face was soft, the lines of worry relaxed as he slept. Her cheeks tugged the corners of her mouth up. "Jason." His name came out raspy and she cleared her throat. "Jason," she said again gently.

His eyes fluttered open and she watched his face as it took a moment to register where he was. "Hey," he said, his voice sounding gravely as he removed his hand from her pants and started to straighten.

As he moved, Elizabeth realized her hand was still up his shirt and her thigh was laying intimately over him. She scurried to sit up. "I'm late for work," she said quickly, brushing her hair out of her face as she felt her cheeks flush.

"Huh? O – Okay," he stumbled before rubbing his hands over his face and turning to get off the bed.

She ground her hands against her eyes and immediately recognized how swollen they were. "I sorry I don't have time to make you coffee. I've got to call Epiphany and then jump in the shower. She's going to kill me. She's been so irritated by me lately and I can't blame her. I've been distracted," Elizabeth babbled as she rolled off the opposite side of the bed.

Jason stood, having put his boots on, and they stared at each other from opposite sides of the bed for a moment. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans as Elizabeth licked her lips.

"Well…" she said, grimacing slightly. "Let me walk you out," she rushed as she motioned towards her bedroom door.

They walked down the hall in silence. Elizabeth passed Jason as he grabbed his jacket and opened the door for him. Feeling anxious, she was chewing her bottom lip and tucked her hair behind her ear.

He lifted his gaze from the floor to meet hers. The look of uncertainty in his eyes was unexpected and she felt slightly taken aback. "So," she said, her voice flat although there was definitely a question behind it.

"We'll talk," he responded matter-of-factly.

Elizabeth fidgeted, averting her gaze, "Alright."

Jason turned and strode out of her apartment.


End file.
